Tag Archives: My Experience

A Gentle Honesty

Awakening humbles me. A strange thing about awakening is frequently we feel we are very conscious, but then life throws something at us and we react in the same conditioned way we always did. It’s a humbling experience, and that’s the point of it. A year ago I had severe and debilitating anxiety. It was bad enough to have anxiety at all, and this particular bout was especially severe, but on top of that I was upset that I could have anxiety at all. I had thought. with awakening I had overcome Read more [...]

Recovery from Anxiety and Depression

In late 2006 I was suicidally depressed. I was at the deepest end of the dark abyss of depression and I had given up on any attempt to climb out, knowing from the hundreds of prior attempts that all I’ll manage to do is tear off my fingernails without ever making it to light. I have always felt, like most of us, that there had to be a separate peace, perhaps a different possibility, if only I knew how to get at it. I devoured any thing I could find on depression or self-help, but those only Read more [...]

What Depression Feels Like

Depression is the opposite of Love. If Awake is the most expansive being, depression is the most contracted. Depression is deep futility. Every emotion is numb. You can’t feel pleasure or pain. You can’t remember what emotions felt like. You can’t imagine how it is possible to feel anything but the way you are feeling.  If you remember what normal felt like, you could perhaps reach for it. But you don’t. Your state knows no other state, cannot even guess that there are other ways to feel. There Read more [...]