Conversations with God

Hi folks! Sorry about the long quiet period. I think in early February, Julia recommneded to me on email that I take a look at Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch. I am not sure why I actually did take a look, because this is not the kind of thing that would usually appeal to me. I would have dismissed it, from my own prejudices about the word God in the title. But for some reason I did actually take a look and I'm very glad that I did. I prefer to listen to the audio version Read more [...]

Update

A few days ago a reader alerted me that something was wrong with this site. It was behaving erratically. After fooling with it a bit, I decided it was time for a change anyway. I've been writing here for about four years now. Recently much has changed. I feel settled, easy. I believe there is really only one problem--and that is the delusion of fear. That recognition feels very big to me--with it, all the frantic energy of the last six or seven years that I spent in seeking an answer left me Read more [...]

Fear of life and the Looking

The way it is happening for me is that two years ago I had the recognition on a morning walk that the only problem there is, is fear. With that recognition, much (not all) of the seeking energy dissipitated--I was no longer interested in finding the next secret to awakening. I understood the problem and I had confirmation about it from Jed Mckenna, Eckhart Tolle, Buddha, Anthony de Mello and others. I had a really, good year and I was beginning to re-engage in life after many years of escaping in Read more [...]

The delusion of self

Two years ago I looked into the delusion of self. I wrote about it in the articles categorized as No Self. It's a simple and direct technique. With focus and intensity, you look for the you in your thoughts, and see that the you in thoughts does not refer to anything. I went through it two years ago and in a few days recognized the absence of what I had presumed to be the center of experience. Experience does not happen to me; experience just happens. But nothing really changed after the Read more [...]

Why the recovery is hard

Why this is difficult I like happiness as much as the next guy. But it's not happiness that sends one in search of truth. It's rabid and feverish, clawing madness to stop being a lie, regardless of price, come heaven or hell. This isn't about higher consciousness or self-discovery or heaven on earth. This is about blood-caked swords and Buddha's rotting head and self-immolation, and anyone who says otherwise is selling something they don't have. -Jed Mckenna If you've been with me on this for a Read more [...]

Here

What is my goal? To be a natural human being, free of the insanity the ego and conditioned-pain and destructive patterns and self-limiting thoughts, and free from the energy of seeking and wishing to be different--in short, to be free of fear and its effects. How is it that I am not free right now? In the last year particularly there has been a release, a shift. I feel more at home, easier, lighter, less resistant, more honest with myself and others. I feel healthier, I sleep much better, Read more [...]

Basics

A year ago I had a fundamental shift, a letting go. I'm not done. But I do feel significantly lighter, more natural, easier. It happened as I recognized that the basic problem with me, and all human beings, is fear. The Buddha said that people suffer. We suffer, not because there is suffering, but because of the damage caused by fear in the mind. Every human being, I think, at some point and at some level, knows that he or she is not seated in naturalness. It's interesting that most people Read more [...]

Losing weight the natural way

I'm losing 10 to 15 lbs a month since May, without effort or dieting. You might wonder why I'm writing about healthy weight management on a website which is about being a natural, free, human being. Well, there are a number of relevant lessons in this. A few years ago I got tired of dieting. I realized that all diets work in the same way. First, they work. I lose weight. Then, they don't work. And I gain back weight with a vengeance, generally gaining back even more than I had lost. I went Read more [...]

The Relief

What I feel these days is an enormous relief! I think back in May I had a shift. I didn't quite understand what had happened, and I still don't have clear words to describe it. I saw that life is perfect, it has always been perfect, mysterious, wondrous, quirky. The only problem with life is that I had thought there was a problem with life. And this bit of off-centeredness has been with me since I was a baby. With this recognition I understood. I understood why everything I have learned and Read more [...]

Happily at Square One

All the frantic energy of trying to figure it out, trying to understand and learn and practice--all of it left me in one fell swoop. I loved the whooshing sound it made on its way out, hehe! And here I am, empty and open, happily left with really only one insight, and it's not a big one. I am grateful to Eckhart Tolle. I read the Power of Now about four or five years ago, and it wasn't my first reading of it, but at the time of that particular reading I was in emotional pain and therefore open. Read more [...]