Being human – notes to self

Life is a journey from fear to love. From unconsciousness to consciousness. The meaning of life is the meaning you give it. You’re a triumvirate of you (soul), mind and body. The answers are within you. The greatest tools you have are feeling, experience and observation. Follow your highest feeling. It resonates with your soul’s agenda. You are a non-physical being having a physical experience. Experience is where consciousness meets the physical world. You exist. Since you Read more [...]

The delusion of fear in the mind

For two years or so now, the way I see it is that life is a journey from fear to love. In most of us there is a delusion of fear in the mind. There is a belief, a feeling, that there is something wrong with life. I don't know how or when we pick this up or why it's universal. There does seem to be support for this idea in spirituality, philosophy, and literature--but really, in my view, the best way to see it is to observe its effects in your life. Not much has changed externally in Read more [...]

Look, release, notice

Hi folks! I know I have not written for a while. Most of us for most of our lives look for answers externally. Some of us for some reason gain the insight that there is somehing off-center in the mind. We see that we are not having a good experience of life, and that whatever is wrong is wrong inside. And so we go off on a search--usually a religious or spiritual search to find the answer. This is what I started about seven or eight years ago. And then I started writing about it here. The Read more [...]

Conversations with God

Hi folks! Sorry about the long quiet period. I think in early February, Julia recommneded to me on email that I take a look at Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch. I am not sure why I actually did take a look, because this is not the kind of thing that would usually appeal to me. I would have dismissed it, from my own prejudices about the word God in the title. But for some reason I did actually take a look and I'm very glad that I did. I prefer to listen to the audio version Read more [...]


A few days ago a reader alerted me that something was wrong with this site. It was behaving erratically. After fooling with it a bit, I decided it was time for a change anyway. I've been writing here for about four years now. Recently much has changed. I feel settled, easy. I believe there is really only one problem--and that is the delusion of fear. That recognition feels very big to me--with it, all the frantic energy of the last six or seven years that I spent in seeking an answer left me Read more [...]

Fear of life and the Looking

The way it is happening for me is that two years ago I had the recognition on a morning walk that the only problem there is, is fear. With that recognition, much (not all) of the seeking energy dissipitated--I was no longer interested in finding the next secret to awakening. I understood the problem and I had confirmation about it from Jed Mckenna, Eckhart Tolle, Buddha, Anthony de Mello and others. I had a really, good year and I was beginning to re-engage in life after many years of escaping in Read more [...]

The delusion of self

Two years ago I looked into the delusion of self. I wrote about it in the articles categorized as No Self. It's a simple and direct technique. With focus and intensity, you look for the you in your thoughts, and see that the you in thoughts does not refer to anything. I went through it two years ago and in a few days recognized the absence of what I had presumed to be the center of experience. Experience does not happen to me; experience just happens. But nothing really changed after the Read more [...]

Why the recovery is hard

Why this is difficult I like happiness as much as the next guy. But it's not happiness that sends one in search of truth. It's rabid and feverish, clawing madness to stop being a lie, regardless of price, come heaven or hell. This isn't about higher consciousness or self-discovery or heaven on earth. This is about blood-caked swords and Buddha's rotting head and self-immolation, and anyone who says otherwise is selling something they don't have. -Jed Mckenna If you've been with me on this for a Read more [...]


What is my goal? To be a natural human being, free of the insanity the ego and conditioned-pain and destructive patterns and self-limiting thoughts, and free from the energy of seeking and wishing to be different--in short, to be free of fear and its effects. How is it that I am not free right now? In the last year particularly there has been a release, a shift. I feel more at home, easier, lighter, less resistant, more honest with myself and others. I feel healthier, I sleep much better, Read more [...]