Why we don’t do the things that are good for us

Why is it hard for us to do the things we know are good for us?

What is with us? Why are we not able to do the things which are in our self-interest? What is it that is so difficult about making loving choices?

Here’s a simple example. If I want to lose weight, it’s technically very simple. I ingest fewer calories then I expend. I eat when I’m hungry. I never allow hunger to build up. I drink water. I avoid toxins. I stop eating when I’m full. I make healthy choices—I eat nutritious and real food, and avoid all the non-food which is so furiously marketed to me. I exercise.

And yet, maintaining healthful weight is a big challenge for many of us.

Why is that? Why do we procrastinate and vacillate? Why do we have trouble deciding? Why don’t we know our purpose and passion?

Beliefs

‘A human being… experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison …’ -Einstein

Most of us are not aware of the many and conflicting beliefs that we unconsciously operate from. This is what it means to be stuck. When beliefs have enough energy, we begin to identify with them. We look for self in these beliefs.

Claustrophòbia

photo : VanessaO

The conflict of beliefs–We feel many conflicts: the conflict of putting off short term gratification for long term benefits, the conflict of the conditioning of gender and age and cultural beliefs, the conflict in the difference between what we want today and what we want tomorrow, the conflict of having to deal with the disparity of ideals and the practicalities of life—we have to have food and money and shelter and secure a future for us and our kids.

To overcome these conflicts, we often turn to self-discipline and virtuous words. We use self-improvement, self-discipline, how to find passion, how to get things done, how to stop procrastinating, religion, spirituality, motivation, positive thinking, the ideas of success and failure, virtuous characteristics of honor, humility, dedication, commitment, perseverance, and so on.

There is of course nothing wrong with any of these highly virtuous and validating concepts. It’s just that none of these virtues, as we find out sooner or later, are any guarantee of conscious living. How many of us end up in lifestyles which may be full of achievement, but which are not at all resonant?

The resistance of beliefs– We are trained at a young age to create an idea of “I” and then we pile on beliefs and reactions connected to this idea of “I.” And from then on, everything we do and think and feel and say, we do for and because of the false “I.”

Our conditioned beliefs are our samskara, the software which drives us, and our actions and decisions which come from this conditioning are our karma.

Living according to our karma, is living re-actively according to conditioning and beliefs.

Disconnected from our true nature, we resort to living by beliefs. We are in fact afraid of our true nature. It’s even built into our language. We call it “base nature.” We are afraid that if we are truly natural, unadorned by beliefs, we will be primitive and lost and lazy. We strive to maintain an image of ourselves as right and good, and we’re afraid that without self-discipline and virtuous and strong ideas we will fall apart.

Rebellion–To some extent we realize that living by beliefs and conditioning is not natural to us, and so sometimes we create beliefs and behavior of rebellion. We often actively seek disapproval from ourselves and others. But this contrary movement is very much the same thing—it still rises from the battle of conflicting beliefs.

The false “I” is ever-changing–The “I” which wants to meditate tomorrow morning is not the same “I” which rolls over and hits the snooze button. The “I” which wants to lose weight is not the same “I” which gobbles up a pint of ice cream. The “I” which wants to emerge from the Dark Night is not the same “I” which knows the whole thing is a delusional concept.

Struggle and effort— We have a deeply ingrained belief that anything worthwhile in life must be achieved with struggle and effort. This is so deeply ingrained that in the rare moments that our lives do flow smoothly, we may feel guilty or fearful that the flow will soon come to an end.

Beliefs fragment our being–How many minds do we really have? If we want to exercise or lose weight or quit smoking or have a relationship or let go of hurt or see through our delusions, is there a mind which wants to and a mind which doesn’t?

This, in fact, is the problem. We are always of many minds. We are a complex of conflicting and limiting beliefs.

The search for unity

And so all our thrashing about really comes down to the business of finding out how to unify. When a whole mind wants to quit smoking, there are no conflicting beliefs. It doesn’t want to quit smoking today and want a cigarette the next morning. In fact, this is exactly what happens when people do finally quit. They quit when they are able to make a unified decision. The whole mind makes a decision—not just one corner of it. If there are no conflicting beliefs, there are no problems.

It is difficult to live in a mind full of conditioning and conflicting beliefs. It feels chaotic, claustrophobic, uncertain. It is stale, based on past beliefs, and so the future is always a variation of the past. This is suffering.

A whole mind feels good. It isn’t chaotic. A whole mind is light, just being is delicious, breathing is delicious, decisions come pre-made, and it is no longer driven by fear and desire. It does not look for itself in the validation of beliefs. This is resonance. This is flow.

Every spiritual journey is in fact a quest for this union. It is the search for a whole mind, a whole being, where the mind and heart are one, free of conditioning and beliefs.

How do we do the things which are good for us?

“Awareness gives you your life back. You can then decide what to do with it.” –Kabbat Zinn

How do we do the things which are good for us? How do we know what is good for us in the first place?

Lester Levenson said awakening is either simple or impossible. The insight that awakening to our true nature is about letting go of beliefs, and not accumulating more beliefs, is either simple or it is impossible.

With letting go, we can unify our heart and mind. We stop listening to thoughts and beliefs, and listen to Essence, and eventually, choices are not even necessary.

For most of us, this is a gradual process, sometimes an uncomfortable process. The process reminds us to drop our reliance on thoughts and beliefs and conditioning, over and over again, in layers, and instead to listen to the Essence which lives through us.

Re-train ourselves with Love. True self-acceptance is looking in the mirror and saying, “I am a perfect adaptation to everything I have experienced and believe. Who I think I am is not an error. I am a perfect response. I responded in best way I could—the only way I could. Even my conditioning, beliefs, self-judgment, self-criticism, and self-hatred are a perfect response.”

Often we validate our ego by making self-acceptance difficult. The ego will resist love and allowing. We may feel that if we completely accept who we are, we will be locking ourselves in. We believe change only happens when we judge and resist and use the energy of struggle and effort to evolve.

The key to understanding self-acceptance is you do not need to force love to happen. When there is resistance, love the resistance. Evolution is natural, even inevitable, when we stop resisting.

Get into the flow of awakening. Awareness is the magic which allows us to experience the world as it is manifesting, rather than through the filters of beliefs. When we are aware of our internal experience, we experience directly, and no energy is expended on building up the complex maze of patterns which separate us into a confused mass of limiting beliefs.

Accept the ebb and flow—with love we can fully accept that there will be times of confusion and doubt and low energy.

If habits need to change, change exactly one habit at a time. Change is difficult because with change, we always leave something familiar behind. We can start by lovingly accepting this, and when we want to change something, we focus on one change. When we want to achieve a goal, we focus on one goal at time.

Discipline and self-improvement and virtuous characteristics and effort do have a place in our lives. When there is love of being and there is awareness, there is less and less reliance on beliefs. Self-discipline then is no longer the struggle over the resistance of conflicting beliefs and drives.

Simplify ruthlessly, declutter, pare down commitments, pare down goals to the very essential. Often, we are not able to discern what is good for us in the midst of daily clutter and busy-ness.

Rely on others. Only you can do the things which are good for you; nobody else can do it for you; but you also don’t have to do it alone. Often, while letting go and awakening, we can come to periods of paralyzing confusion. In these times it may be difficult for us to do many things, but the one thing we can always do is to rely on the many compassionate resources which are available to us: friends, family, community, books, blogs…

46 thoughts on “Why we don’t do the things that are good for us

  1. Ideas With A Kick

    That is a deep philosophical question my friend, but I’m glad to see you answered it in a practical, useful way. :)

    I think there is also something beyond beliefs. We also have instincts, in our DNA, which evolved over millions of years and no longer serve us. Like the instinct which makes us fear the disapproval of people with authority. 50.000 years ago, living in a tripe, it might have helped us. Now, it prevents us from living our best lives.

    Cheers,

    Eduard
    .-= Ideas With A Kick´s last blog ..Facing your fears the right way =-.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Eduard,

      Yes, good point. Our DNA and instincts developed for millions of years for conditions which are very different than we find in the contemporary world–survival, mating, propagation of genes, authority, group-think are frequently at odds with with modern social institutions. In general, the mind-body has preferences and aversions, some of which are instinctive, and many are contrived through beliefs. We can acknowledge these and remain aware.

      Thanks, great insight.

      peace and love,
      k

      Reply
  2. Janice

    Wow, what a beautiful piece.
    It blew me away, it blew me into my Higher Power.
    Love & Light
    Janice
    P.S. I am going to re-read it.

    Reply
  3. Aurora

    I do the things that are priorities for me. I don’t do the things that are’good for me’ until I have decided they matter for me.

    Your list is very good for someone who needs some motivation or clarity on doing what feeds the Soul you were meant to be.

    I can tell what is self-destructive by the amount of peace or degree of upset I have in my life, and if I am unflinchingly telling the truth to myself as well as others. Happiness always follows constructive action.
    .-= Aurora´s last blog ..Brad and Angelina =-.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Aurora,
      That’s wonderful that you have an effective system. You’re right, it is about clarity. When we know we what feeds the soul, it is easy then to do what’s good for us. In another article, I said we must want peace more than we want drama, which resonates with what you say about determining whether something is self-destructive.

      Thanks for visiting and thanks for the insight!

      peace and love,
      k

      Reply
  4. Brenda (betaphi)

    “We are always of many minds. We are a complex of conflicting and limiting beliefs.”. . . “Evolution is natural, even inevitable, when we stop resisting.”

    So much to think about here. . .I will reread this one too. Those two lines above spoke to me, along with your immense compassion. You really understand the human condition. It touches me how you try to help us understand ourselves better and live better lives. I feel so fortunate to have this blog in my life. Thanks again and again, Kaushik. You are a very special person. Peace and love to you too. :)
    .-= Brenda (betaphi)´s last blog ..What Teachers Make =-.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Brenda,

      Thank you for expressing your encouragement and appreciation. It is always warming.

      I hope you are well my friend.

      love and peace,
      k

      Reply
  5. Paul Maurice Martin

    Going by my personal experience, I’d say that self discipline, like so many other human attributes, falls on the bell curve and that a person’s tendencies show up pretty early in life.

    For myself, I noticed an interesting transition. In my teens it was already clear that I was highly self disciplined but I applied that ability almost arbitrarily – for example, I was a standout drummer in high school just because I practiced a lot. My talent for this was mediocre.

    I wonder if this may be an “occupational hazard,” so to speak, of the highly disciplined. You have to learn not to apply self discipline just because… it feels so darned good, LOL, or just because you can.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Paul,

      Yeah, I would agree about self-discipline. The first few decades of my life were full of achievement in many areas, and I look back and I feel a sense of great effort and exhaustion, not accomplishment. Self-discipline is not it, and yet I cannot completely dismiss it. To say that there must be some sort of balance, sounds glib.

      I do know that the times in my life when I felt flow, were easy and resonant. If effort was needed, it showed up without calling itself effort.

      Thanks, Paul, as usual, your insight is sharp.

      love and peace,
      k

      Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Evan,
      I actually find it difficult to listen to conflicting beliefs and identities. It’s possibly my over-analytical mind. I find it much easier to be still and rest in awareness, without analyzing, just passively watching, and often an answer pops up. And the, as you say, integration can happen, and that too is not always an easy process.

      Thanks for the insights. I hope you are well!

      love and peace,
      k

      Reply
  6. Nadia - Happy Lotus

    Hi Kaushik,

    I really enjoyed reading your piece. It reinforced the concept in my mind that people think that there is such a thing as being perfect. I think many people strive to give the image of having it all together and therein lies the problem. People want to be accepted. They want to be viewed as being good and successful. So all the conflicts arise from this pressure of wanting to appear to have it all together.

    The irony of all of this is that if we were perfect, we would not be here and I refer to that from a Buddhist and Vedanta sense. Meaning that if we were perfect, we would have attained liberation and choosing to re-incarnate would be out of a desire to help mankind and not to work on oneself.

    In my experience, when I realized that it was okay not to be perfect, I was able to work on the issues that I needed and free myself from my pain. It was not an easy journey for I had a lot of emotional baggage to work through. However, it was so worth it.

    In Buddhism, one of the First Noble Truths is to realize that pain and suffering exists. None of us are perfect. We all have conflicting beliefs and that is okay. It is normal. It is human.

    Hope all is awesome, my friend! :)
    .-= Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Forgiveness in a Paper Cut =-.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Nadia,
      Yes, exactly. Dukkha indeed is the inherent condition. We are not perfect, and fully accepting that really takes the pressure off, and allows us to discover what resonates, and what the heart tells us. It can be a little difficult to fully accept, because as you say, approval is one of our drivers.

      Thanks, yes all is awesome. I hope for you too!

      love and peace,
      k

      Reply
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  8. Miche - Serenity Hacker

    Hi Kaushik, great post! I really enjoyed the exploration of beliefs here, and how the conflict between them can cause a lot of chaos in our lives. I thinks state often creates a very particular disconnect between our thoughts and our actions, which isn’t very comfortable.

    What you’ve said about being of many minds and being of a unified mind is really insightful. For me, being of a unified mind is really a practice, or a discipline. Though I’d like it to be my default state, there is effort that goes into that. Without that effort and practice, I’d slip further down the road of fragmentation and inner conflict. One of the things that’s been particularly at the forefront for me lately is values, and aligning my actions with those, really living them as much as I can. This, too, takes some effort, discipline, and practice.

    There’s a lot to think about in this post, and you’ve provided some sound advice, too…

    Another thing that struck me when I was reading this is that if we do find the things that are really good for us (and that we really value), and we want to live them, it presents a different kind of a challenge if the society or community we live in doesn’t align with that. You touched on it here when you said “the conflict of having to deal with the disparity of ideals and the practicalities of life”. That sort of conflict, or lack of unity, is worthy of a post all by itself!

    Cheers,
    Miche :)
    .-= Miche – Serenity Hacker´s last blog ..Making Big Changes: Energy and Resistance =-.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Miche,
      Gary Zukov said: “Align your personality with your soul. Until that happens, you won’t be able to give the gifts you were meant to.” This is of course what you are getting at in the comment and what the article is about, but exactly how do we go about doing that? My answer has been to be very patient, and allow with love, and Awareness and Release. Our tendency is to use effort and discipline but this doesn’t necessarily align us, and yet, it is difficult to dismiss the value of discipline.

      Good point about the resistance of social grooves. In my case, I haven’t been able to find a job for a long time. It has been beneficial to awakening, because it has helped me discover releasing. There is no unhappiness about it, because my intent has solidly been to explore awakening. And yet it is not aligned with social expectations.

      We could possibly take comfort in what Krishanmurti said, when he said (paraphrasing) that it is no measure of health to be well-adjusted in an insane society.

      I hope you are very well!

      Namaste,
      k

      Reply
  9. Lisa (mommymystic)

    “Our conditioned beliefs are our samskara, the software which drives us, and our actions and decisions which come from this conditioning are our karma.

    Living according to our karma, is living re-actively according to conditioning and beliefs.”

    I really appreciated such a clear explanation…to me, everything you listed in the top part is our karma, from beliefs to resistance to rebellion, etc. even down to the wiring in our brain, on which we now know many of our habits and beliefs get ‘written’ down in (in addition to the energetic record or samskaras, or I guess really the brain wiring is just one manifestation of samskara)…anyway, then everything in the 2nd half helps us get ‘beyond karma’, or live from the place of awakening…considering the name of your blog I guess it should be no surprise that your can communicate this so well!

    it is interesting to me, there are some things that we really do just wake up one day and change… it is like the ‘light’ of some realization just washes the samskaras away (and of course, this is what some traditions say energy and release work is all about)…then other things, we have to really work at slowly, the ‘rewiring’ or washing away of samskaras comes off in levels, over time, and we often feel at a standstill or down, as you have discussed in your last few articles…

    these last few articles have been such a well-written and complete coverage of the spiritual journey, I think….thanks for that…
    .-= Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..Keep Your Sense of Humor… =-.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Lisa,

      Yes, our karma/samskara can include our organic wiring, our DNA. Some people would say it continues across incarnations and akashic records. Some people don’t resonate with the spiritual or mystical–then we can say it is our pain-body and stored beliefs and emotions. When we live unconsciously, reacting from our samskara, we really don’t any free choice. Awakening is the work we do to release samskara and rest in awareness, increasingly living more consciously.

      You make a great point–we do sometimes wake up and change or make a decision, seemingly without thinking about it. It is a new energy and we have purpose and motivation. I’d like to explore this more. I suppose this is what happens in a big way to the very few people who had a sudden waking up, like Eckhart Tolle.

      Most of us have to work slowly and patiently. It comes off in layers, sometimes in confusing ways. And yes, sometimes we feel we are stagnant, and sometimes this can last a long time.

      Thanks, Lisa, you’ve summarized the last few articles very succinctly!

      I hope you are well!

      peace and love,
      k

      Reply
  10. Amit Sodha - The Power Of Choice

    Hi Kaushik,

    A very timely post. Just before I came to this page I was thinking of putting a message out there to get help with my weight loss. Although I’m very active the thing I do struggle with right now is controlling my eating.

    Where do you think the balance comes in of accepting myself unequivocally as I am and yet want better for myself?
    .-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..Honouring People And Cultures With Language Skills =-.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Amit,

      You’ve hit on a central question. The ego doesn’t want to accept because it always feels that accepting is locking in a reality it doesn’t like. We have a strong tendency to resist, because we feel resistance is what gives us the energy we need to make improvements.

      Weight loss is a good area to look at how beliefs limit us. To lose weight, we turn to diets and to hard exercise. This is a program of control, and of course works with effort and struggle, but never in the long run. These are solutions of self-forcing–we use beliefs to counteract other beliefs. This is an area I am exploring and writing a book about. I haven’t written many articles because I’m still working it out. Instead of creating new beliefs, what if we worked on releasing the limiting beliefs we have?

      This is what I’m trying:
      1. Start with gentle self-acceptance. Maintain a witness-consciousness and watch self-criticisms, judgments, and self-disapproval, threats and promises. There is nothing to do about them except to watch and witness.
      2. I don’t allow myself to be hungry and I don’t allow myself to be overly full. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is famished and 10 is uncomfortably full, I stay in 5 to 7 range, eating when just a bit hungry, and stopping when satisfied.
      3. I eat mindfully, paying attention to each bite, paying attention to how I feel before and after. I eat whatever I want.

      This sounds dangerous, right? The idea is to allow the body to do its thing. It’s always Awareness and Release.

      Thanks for opening up an important discussion.

      I hope you are well!

      peace and love,
      k

      Reply
  11. Patty - Why Not Start Now?

    Hi Kaushik – I’m a first time visitor. Just clicked over from Lisis’ site. This is a fascinating discussion of beliefs, and I’m particularly drawn to the idea of unity: “when a whole mind” wants to do something, it will. This reminds me of what I’ve experienced myself or with clients when we finally stop resisting and actually start doing the things that are good for us. In such instances, I’ve said, and heard others say, “It was just time.” As you say, I think there is quite a process of letting go before we can get to that, and sometimes I think the self-acceptance and awareness you speak of is below the surface; we don’t always recognize it, but it is there nevertheless. Thank you for the thoughtful post.
    .-= Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Why Self-Help Bores Me =-.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Patty,
      I write about Awareness and Release and think that it’s best for people to rely on direct experience. In this process, we can run into emotional turmoil and doldrums, and often in these times we run to self-help solutions of discipline and beliefs–but it is the conflict of the beliefs which is the problem in the first place. We can see this if can be patient, and fully allow, and watch. But of course that is difficult for the ego to do–we are trained to move and solve problems and get going.

      You make an excellent point–when we finally can stop resisting, we start doing the things which are good for us, and they were always there under the surface. Awareness and Release can help us recognize this.

      Thanks for an excellent comment–you’ve succinctly summarized the last few articles.

      I hope to see you again.

      peace and love,
      k

      Reply
  12. Marc Winitz

    There is a lot to digest here, a well outlined post that probably deserves more exploration from you. One thing that is worth pondering is to truly understand what may or may not really be considered “good for us”. I’ll throw out something like “not smoking” out of consideration because that one is obvious. What about losing weight. Is it really important and if we don’t do it is that it we are not doing something that is not good for us? I think it really depends. If you have a true medical reason and don’t followup on how to lose weight, that’s a problem you probably need to explore. If it’s more fleeting (I want to drop 10 lbs before the high school re-union) that may not necessarily be categorized as not doing something that is good for us. It strikes me that there is more to this than the original premise to your post so it has got me thinking (so thank you!).

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Marc,
      You’re absolutely right, we’re often confused about what is “good for us.” This is the difference between listening to the ego, and listening to Essence.

      This article was more on on inertia. Inertia is the resistance of conflicting beliefs. The solution is to be patient, and fully allow, in love, and we can see that our inertia is not real, it’s simply a delusion which rises from the battle of beliefs. Being patient and allowing, while watching with awareness, is difficult for us because we’re trained to move along, to accumulate beliefs, and take action. I do want to explore this more and I’m sure I’ll write more articles about it.

      Thanks for a very incisive comment. I hope you are well and I hope to see your sharp insight again!

      peace and love,
      k

      Reply
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  15. Jessica Feliciano

    Yes your post is so true!
    I always think about it as connecting or disconnecting with what I want. In order to achieve my goals, I have to connect with them and I do that by doing things that help me out. You did describe it in a very interesting way.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Jessica,

      Yes, connecting with goals, I like that. I look at as releasing and being aware so we can see the unified direction, and then we can know what our true goals are. Thanks for the insightful comment and I hope to see you here again!

      peace and love,
      k

      Reply
  16. Baker

    Great post here. I found this post to really strike a chord with myself in particular. I find that when I focus on the things that bring me joy, rather than the lower vibrational actions I feel way better about my overall day. The key would be for being consistent in my thoughts and actions that lead to success in life, thus eliminating the distraction of attempting to do things that aren’t “good for me.” Enjoyed reading this post! Excellent insights.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Thanks. I like the way you express it in terms of vibrational actions. Every moment is a choice and if we can remain in easy awareness and release, we can make flowing choices.

      Reply
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  18. Zoli Cserei

    Hi Kaushik,

    This is my first time visit ever to your blog, and I can say I like what I see here!

    I think everyone experiences moments in their lives when they don’t act in their best interest. Sometimes it’s a choice, yet other times we unwillingly fall the to wrong path. It happens to me so often that I come home from school, come into my room and tell myself “So, let’s do those math exercises… uuhhh.. I only check my e-mail first”.. and when I realize, it’s already 6 o’clock.. then I say “uhh.. just one more tweet”.. and it’s already 8 PM, and I finally get to learn at 11 PM, when I say.. “Um.. I rather sleep now, gonna wake up earlier and write that essay in the morning”.

    And that happens because I comfort myself with the idea that “I work on my blog”, which isn’t always as serious work as I plan it to be or as I call it. That’s just an exception to throw at myself when I’m lazy to do other things.

    Yeah, Kaushik, I could 99% (and only say that ’cause everyone says 100%:P) relate to what you said.

    Cheers,
    Zoli

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Zoli,

      Yes, you’re right. When the mind is unified, that is there are conflicting beliefs, we don’t procrastinate and we move forward with joy and purpose. When we have conflicting beliefs, they thwart us, sometimes as inertia, procrastination, lack of joy and so on. What the ego wants arises from conflicting beleifs; what Essence wants is pure.

      Thanks, Zoli, nice to see her, thanks for the very insightful comment, and hope to see you again!

      love and peace,
      k

      Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Deb,
      Yes, I think that is exactly the difficulty, when we are not aligned with your true self. Thank you very much for including the article. Thanks for visiting and I hope to see you again.

      love and peace,
      k

      Reply
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  20. Elle

    “Struggle and effort— We have a deeply ingrained belief that anything worthwhile in life must be achieved with struggle and effort. This is so deeply ingrained that in the rare moments that our lives do flow smoothly, we may feel guilty or fearful that the flow will soon come to an end.”

    This. What a belief to have so deeply ingrained!!!! I struggle with this but now I realize that when ever it arises I should feel it and let it go, all too often we become addicted to pain, discomfort and discontent so when we have moments of peace and clarity we get scared and feel guilty because “it shouldn’t be so easy”. So many of us give lip service to wanting to “be in the flow” but when those moments come we almost can’t handle the simplicity and look for ways to struggle because we have gotten comfortable in our dysfunction.

    Reply
    1. Kaushik Post author

      Yes, that’s it. It’s this in-grained resistance in us, this basic fear of life, which drives everything. Now, I’m at a point where I understand this, and this is the only thing that I feel needs to be understood, because everything else we do, think, feel, believe and practice, follows this basic fear of life. The only work we have to do is to be rid of this basic fear of life.

      Reply
  21. ejohnson110

    I don’t think we have a fear of life. I feel that the requirements that life puts on us as human beings complicates the decisions we make. For like of a better phrase it’s like trying to keep up with the Kardashian’s. And that is what society in-grains in our being. o me life is simple, but when we step outside of that realm of life things began to get complicated.

    Reply

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