Category Archives: Addiction

The hold…

Why we take a peculiar pleasure in suffering and how to stop

"Observe the peculiar pleasure you derive from being unhappy. Observe the compulsion to talk or think about it." -Eckhart Tolle Have you noticed? We want to be free of pain, but there is a part of us that which takes a peculiar pleasure from reveling in suffering. I had two decades of depression and anxiety before I came to awakening. Some of the episodes were so debilitating that all I could do was atrophy behind a black cloud and watch my life crumble—watching helplessly, as once again, Read more [...]

Addiction

What was or is your antidote to the uneasiness of being? Alcohol? Nicotine? Opiads? Whatever it is you’ve probably discovered that addictions and depression go hand-in-hand, and if it isn’t full-fledged depression, it is the constant uneasiness of being. The solution of course is to awaken. Awaken from the illusion of the mind and the uneasiness goes away, and then there is no need for feel-good chemicals. Awakening just takes the soft, gentle observation of Awareness. A release technique Read more [...]

Recovery from Anxiety and Depression

In late 2006 I was suicidally depressed. I was at the deepest end of the dark abyss of depression and I had given up on any attempt to climb out, knowing from the hundreds of prior attempts that all I’ll manage to do is tear off my fingernails without ever making it to light. I have always felt, like most of us, that there had to be a separate peace, perhaps a different possibility, if only I knew how to get at it. I devoured any thing I could find on depression or self-help, but those only Read more [...]

What Depression Feels Like

Depression is the opposite of Love. If Awake is the most expansive being, depression is the most contracted. Depression is deep futility. Every emotion is numb. You can’t feel pleasure or pain. You can’t remember what emotions felt like. You can’t imagine how it is possible to feel anything but the way you are feeling.  If you remember what normal felt like, you could perhaps reach for it. But you don’t. Your state knows no other state, cannot even guess that there are other ways to feel. There Read more [...]