Category Archives: Beyond

clever thoughts, essays, off-topic tangents and sometimes I just don’t know where to put stuff..


2010 will continue the evolution you have been feeling for some time now. You may be tired from the climb of recent years. The seeking, and frustration, and the times when you think you’ve risen above some spiritual threshold only to be humbled back down, and the times of three steps forward and two back—all of it is tiring. Perhaps you dabbled in spirituality. But if you hang around these circles you’ve run into a “spiritualized” ego. I know one right now. A “spiritualized” ego Read more [...]

Expanding out from Stuckness

"Universal Love is both conscious and loving at the same time. When you experience universal love you understand the action of love. A loving action is a gentle action when gentleness is needed, a firm action when firmness is needed, a compassionate action when compassion is needed, yielding when yielding is needed. Whatever is needed is present — and in the correct balance — depending on the situation... Universal love is an expression of the harmony of the totality." - A. H. Almaas We seek. Read more [...]

Divine Valentine and 2012

Divine Valentine I had watched a thirteen year old little girl with yellow curls and a short blue ice skating dress, whirl around the ice for days, hours at a time, and one night she skated over to me and said Gruss Gott! Another time, in German, want to see me do something? I smiled. I was too shy to say anything. I had grown up in an Indian family in Uganda, Africa, we were refugees in a UN camp in Austria, with a very uncertain future. Of course, at 14, it was all an adventure for me. I Read more [...]

Dark Night of the Soul — The Opportunity to Surrender

Last week I wrote about the “Dark Night of the Soul”, a common experience of confusion and “spiritual depression” during the awakening process. Brenda suggested a much more appropriate title, and here it is! The dark night is about transformation. When we are seeking higher consciousness, we are seeking to end the tyranny of the ego so we can abide in our true nature, instead of false beliefs. And so, these show-downs of emotional turmoil are inevitable. The ego, the limiting and conflicting Read more [...]

Radical Transformation

You see, when the mind is totally aware of its conditioning, there is only the mind; there is no ‘you’ separate from the mind. But, when the mind is only partially aware of its conditioning, it divides itself, it dislikes its conditioning or says it is a good thing; and, as long as there is condemnation, judgment, or comparison, there is incomplete understanding of conditioning, and therefore the perpetuation of that conditioning. Whereas, if the mind is aware of its conditioning without condemning Read more [...]

Mother’s Day: On gold-smuggling, refugees, and the strength of women

On a hot African day in 1972, my mother and I were standing in line at the Post Office in Kampala, Uganda. She was dressed in a turquoise sari, her hair was braided and lustrous, and she was clutching a large cardboard box in her hands. I still had my school uniform on, a white shirt, khaki shorts, black shoes, long tan socks, with a garter in the socks. The garter had a little flag; the color of flag indicated the form you were in. Mine was green for 8th form. We had packed the box earlier. It Read more [...]

You don’t need no F-thing

What I want is for you to be aware. To live consciously. I don’t want it for you like the republicans want you to be republican. Or insert your –an,  -ist. I don’t want it like an organization. Not like the law of attraction or some other belief system working on people’s desires and hopes. So actually I don’t want it for you. It’s more like here it is. Take it if you’re ready. Pay me, so I can continue to do more. If you want. It’s just that it’s helped me. Transformed, Read more [...]

Getting into the flow of Awakening

Early 2007ish. A relationship is over. Pain. A job is over. Deep in depression. Overweight. Drinking. Giving up. Acceptance. A small shift. Observing the mind, observing thought. Effort. Clever and useless revelations. The year of High energy, high activity. Traveling. Awakening is now far more important than security, approval, or control. A settling. Can’t find job. Anxiety. Severe Anxiety. Discovery of how to release. Clinging to beliefs loosens. Detachment-Apathy-Insomnia-Isolation. Read more [...]


At the beach in the summer, a glorious hot morning, the sunshine on my shoulders reminds me the universe is benign and warm. The soft crunch of hot sand oozing up through my toes reminds me of the connectedness of everything, bringing me right down to mother earth. Everyone at the beach is always happy, open and playing and right here and now. The dogs running around are happy and saying it. The water is warm, but the initial dive is a cold slap in the chest, and even this feeling is important, Read more [...]


I think I saw this in a movie—A Jesuit priest in 1800’s goes to the Canadian wilderness to straighten out the brown people, the unfortunate heathens, and the Jesuit tells them of the hell-fire fury they’ll suffer if they don’t get on board, and this one aborigine, trying to follow the faith, asks if he’ll be punished for his sins before the Jesuit shoveled his truth at him, and the Jesuit said with brimming compassion, no no no God does not punish you if you don’t know they are sins, Read more [...]