Re: Awakening

(edited)

Dear -,

Awakening is awakening in the dream and awakening out of the dream. I am at the first.

What does it feel like? Well, I had anxiety and depression for twenty years. Anxiety is gone. The psychological unhappiness of depression is gone. I can operate in the world from a place of calm and peace. There is very little fear (although there is a little) and I am not attached to the outcome of desires, seeing desires as fear turned outward.

It’s nice.

However, this is not full awakening, and moreover, it is not important.

The most direct technique is self-inquiry. I have not written much about this because I am new to it. I have known about self-inquiry from Ramana Mahrishi and Nisargadatta, and it’s probably written about elsewhere. But I did not actually try it until recently.

That’s how the mind works. It is good at hiding.

The things I’ve talked about are useful–awareness and releasing will help you let go of worries and the anger you talk about, and it will teach you how to observe.

Self-inquiry is just observance. Just looking. Look inside, at yourself. You will ask, well, how do I do that, I don’t know what it means, where do I start, what will happen, why? This is of course the mind. Looking is just that, just looking. We do it all the time. The only thing to do is turn the direction inward, taking a step back, and observe yourself. Not yourself in action, just yourself. The idea or feeling of you–observe that, and stay with it.

There’s no particular goal, the goal is the looking itself. Things will happen, changes will happen, but you cannot control or predict these outcomes. Whatever happens if fine, because it’s irrelevant to the inquiry. Just keep looking.

The problem is mis-identification. You are not who you think you are. So the best way to see this lie is to look directly at yourself, inside.

As far as your particular problem about getting angry, note that you said “you should not be getting angry.” This is not true. Anger is a natural, built-in reaction–it’s how we handle it which can be a problem.

Releasing will help you with anger. Any emotion is an association of thoughts and body sensations. When anger comes up, you can note that there are physical symptoms, like hotness and fast heart beat and a tightening of muscles and you can feel it in your entire body. Observe body sensations, observe thoughts, and allow the anger to come, without resistance, let it be, and ask yourself if you can let it go. The answer maybe no at first, and that’s fine. You keep doing this each time, and soon you will understand that letting go of anger is a decision.

Of course we must be responsible in how we express our emotions. My suggestion is when you get angry at someone it is best if you walk away and be alone. And then you can try releasing it as I have described.

However, remember that releasing will help you but it is not a direct technique. The direct technique is to look inside, look at yourself, and stay with the looking.

John Sherman (google him) is very good at describing looking.

I hope you find value in this.

Let me know how it goes.

Kaushik

17 thoughts on “Re: Awakening

  1. Cinderella

    Good Saturday morning to you, dear Kaushik,
    Yes, you are correct. Awakening does dissolve anxiety and depression.
    Self-inquiry does encourage awareness and releasing of old and ineffective perceptions/thoughts/beliefs and habit patterns.
    The mind is a powerful thing in each of us. Awakening is one of the best gifts we can constantly be working on within ourselves- it is so rewarding.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Cinderella,
      Yes, awareness and releasing does resolve anxiety and depression. All of these spiritual practices we can have benefits. Awareness, release, yoga, meditation, presence…whatever it is, it’s fine.

      However, these are practices of the dream state, in the dream state.

      The problem is of mis-identification. The most direct way is to look at yourself.

      Thanks, Cinderella. Hope you are well.

      k

  2. Philip

    Awakening is not Liberation from suffering its just a realisation that suffering is not owned. So called suffering is just life as it appears, as it manifests, it is inescapable its just that it is totally seen that it is all just part of the ocean but we cannot deny or escape appearance of things. Liberation could not stop anything it just elimiates the illusion of separation. The story of you is real but you are not, the story decribes the appearance as part of the whole but there is not a separate thing like a person. Liberation is the end of pretence and the continuous war with what appears the pretence of control and meaning.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Philip,

      Perhaps it is as you describe it. But we can’t really know until we are fully awake. Many of the things we do to awaken, or whatever we think about awakening, are not important to awakening, because these come and go.

      I like the technique of looking at yourself. Just being with the sense of “I am”, staying with the feeling of “I am here.” And then whatever the mind is inclined to do is fine, because it has nothing to do with the inquiry. If the mind is inclined towards practices or particular concepts or spirituality or conventional ideas of success and living–well, that’s fine, it doesn’t help or hinder the looking.

      Good to hear from you again. I hope you’re well!

      k

  3. Jeffrey Lapointe

    Hi Kaushik,
    It seems you timed this article just right on serendipitous time. When you change, I am not far behind:)

    I had an A-Ha moment 2 nights ago I would like to share. I was looking at old photographs of myself in different places and different times and suddenly a light bulb went off. I could see in the pictures that there was this person at a certain place and time in his life under certain circumstances that led him there and there was the Being of the person contained in it. One part changed in all the pictures and the other did not. It made me realize as you say above that we are not our actions. Every thing on a material and manifest level was a product of an action/influence from somewhere. But that glimmer in the eye, the awareness of simply being aware was something beyond that.

    For a moment it separated me from my expectations allowing me to see that every moment of my manifest existence I am a product of so many influences that give me this moment, and then another and then another..it’s just that the pictures helped me see it. I felt so amazed and priviledged because no longer did I judge whether it was good or bad, I could see that I already had acted out an infinite amount of unique moments that somehow came from so many other different influences. I was a part of all this change and who I was had nothing to do with my actions or that change, it was simply there observing.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Jeffrey,

      It’s funny how what we need appears at the right moment, when we’re open to it. I just wrote this to a friend who said something similar:

      Yes, I had the same eye-opening. I used to say that it takes observance, honesty and willingness. But John Sherman is right: willingness and honesty are just ideas, and mind will meld them into whatever it wants them to be.

      So, really it’s just observance. And I like this specific observance, just looking at yourself, your sense of you, whatever that is. It can be hard for some people to understand what that is in the beginning. It’s easier if you can say “I am here” or “I am now” and look at that. Because where else can you be, except here and now?

      This “inquiry” is something that we’ve always been doing anyway, even if we are not aware of it. And that’s why everything else that we do always brings us to this. It’s simple and direct. And it doesn’t matter what else we experience, because nothing else can help or hurt the looking.

  4. Mikkel

    Hi Kaushik,

    I had a brief look at John Sherman. He makes sence to me as he falls into category with the unaltered experience. Suffering is hard, period. Looking at yourself happens automatical, but the mind is looking everywhere else, whatever that means.

    I can reduce my life to this: either Im what I consider productive or not. The difference of course is only conventional and the productivity is generelly associated with ease. Everytime ease is interrupted by fear or depression it seems to me, that the process accelerates and thats really a frightening experience. If I get productive again, Im suspicious within seconds. Can it be, that the ease of life will just accelerate as well as the suspicion? It seems like I cant work anymore for the beauty of it, but my new state of being and acting must be done out of self inquiry.

    Wether or not I will be productive doesnt matter. In a way Im aware of that, but on the other hand I still care. I even wonder why I read this blog at all, since it doesnt take long to realize that it all begins and ends with suffering, as I see it. The only visible substance to spirituality can be reduced to a couple of words that has got a small change in their thought construction, such as we want to slightly alterate our response to suffering and we want our response to everything to be more flowing and maybe irrational. To come even that far takes a lot of time, and most people seem like they never ever get rid of suffering but rather getting stuck with their belief, and even if some got an easier life some day, what would it matter?

    There was a political party in Denmark called the Nihilist Party a few years back. They were quite unpopular as they wanted free drugs and wanted to legalize weapons just to have some fun on the streets. When the chairman was asked, why, if they thought politics were utterly pointless, would they be interrested in politics, whereas he replied: “Well, we could also have stayed at home, rubbing our hair with pork liver pate all day long”. So everytime I wonder, why I do, what Im doing, I think: “Oh yes of course, I just do this instead of rubbing my hair with liver pate”, and thats satisfying enought to know. There is appearance of form regardless of our request for truth.

    The fact that Im sitting all night reading your blog, Jed McKenna, Eckhart Tolle etc. is the witness of life. My strong need to work regardless of how much I tell myself, that it has absolutely no rational reason, is witness of my life. My life feels like an aleatoric space. When you ask a musician to play aleatoric music, it means that he must function as a random generator, but he always ends up playing something highly personal even though he try not to. Thats our boundaries.

    Personally I think that spirituality can be an assumption for an alterated state of being, which, when first achieved, makes our present preferable to our past. I think that it can be an assumption in the way that, even though it has no logic, a particular effect might strangely occur along with it. Not enlightenment, just an alterated mind. It would be a quite big alteration though, far more crusial than any other discipline.

    When John Sherman suggests, that observing is done automatically and not by the mind, the sentence doesnt appeal to our mind, but the important thing is maybe that sometimes a certain impulse just pushes the right buttoms by mere luck. I think he said something great.

    Love

    Mikkel

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Well, what John Sherman says (and Ramana and Nisargadatta) is that observing does happen in the mind. It happens within the lie. But nevertheless, it works.

      I don’t have the answers here–but I also no longer think that any of the questions are relevant.

      I started on this when I first read Eckhart Tolle. And then I was hooked, I dove right into it, and explored many of the popular teachings. I consider myself very lucky that I never leaned towards spirituality or mysticism. In my exploration, I discovered some things which were useful.

      Releasing (which is just a kind of observance) helped me release anxiety. That’s pretty big.

      Awareness helped me release depression. That’s big too.

      I also know that you have to do this for yourself.

      I talked about willingness and honesty because I felt those kept me on a straight path. But now I realize that those too are just ideas. Just mental processes.

      What I have done in the last four years has been very useful. But it isn’t freedom.

      I ran across Ramana and Nisargatta a long time ago. And even though what they said (the sense of I am, and who am I) made intuitive sense, I misinterpreted what they were saying. I thought they were talking about an investigation. I thought I had to find the True Self.

      But that’s nonsense. We don’t really know what True Self means. We don’t really know what any of this means. I know people are fond of saying many things about True Self and boundaries and seeking and not seeking and all that stuff. Maybe the people who are fond of talking about this stuff truly do know what they mean. But I don’t accept anything as a mental belief, so I’ve luckily left all that stuff alone.

      But intuitively I have known that “who am I” is direct and I’ve always come back to it, and left it, because I didn’t understand what it meant.

      John Sherman clarified it for me. I only read the first four few paragraphs of “Truth is all that matters” and it clicked.

      All it is, is looking at yourself. Listening to yourself. Feeling yourself. That’s it.

      And it doesn’t matter what else comes up. The mind will do all sorts of stuff, believe all sorts of things. It is not relevant to the inquiry.

      It’s not that the inquiry does not happen in the mind. It does.

      So how do I know that this works when other things have failed?

      Well, I don’t for sure. I have to try it.

      It makes intuitive sense because it is observance, and it is looking directly at the problem (which is misidentification), and in the short time that I have tried it, I already feel agitation, which from experience is a sure sign to me that something is happening.

      People will say they don’t understand what it means to look at yourself. It means exactly what it says. Look, listen, feel yourself. The sense of you. Don’t confuse yourself by worrying about what is self and what is True Self and what is ego and what is mind and what is oneness and the rest of it. Just look at the sense of you, as it is right now.

      1. Mikkel

        Sorry, I said some nonsense. Observance of course doesnt happen outsite the mind, reality does. I understand that John Sherman is clarifying, that one observe the way the observation appear to one, it may be with verbal statements with empty words about ones feelings, but they are relevant enought. So the idea here is basically, that it isnt neccesary to analize your thoughts and emotions, but just letting them be as they appear.

        A few days ago I suddently felt very bad for the first time in a month, and I got that old feeling of getting my whole brain capacity occupied with the emotions, leaving no space to breath. I couldnt help wondering what it was occupied with, when it should be simple to just let things be. The next day I figured, that what obsessed me was the positive aspects of the new informations, not the negative, and my instinct wanted to make myself aware of these aspects.

        The incident was that a friend of mine told me, that a girl wanted to have a threesome with him and another guy, which he refused. I realized that it didnt only disturbe me but also instinctively revealed a possibility worth noticing, as if my subconsciousness tried to tell me to get her number, and therefore I couldnt stop thinking about it.

        This I only concluded by analyzing my emotions, and soon after I didnt care more about it. So even though its not neccesary to be particularly advanced in order to let go, it can still help a lot? If I wasnt aware of it, maybe it would just have taken longer time.

        Mikkel

        1. Kaushik Post author

          Words are never quite right.

          What you are experiencing I have experienced. These cycles of up and down, alternating states of seeming clarity and seeming confusion. They can be long states, but they are states, which means they come and they go.

          The tendency of course is to immerse in thinking about it. We get very attached to spiritual talk–talk about the mind and ego and emotions and awareness and release. We want to understand what is happening and we use concepts which sound good to us.

          But none of that is relevant. All of it is beside the point.

          If your goal is to be rid of the underlying fear of life then literally everything that we do and say and think and believe is beside the point.

          What is it that we know for sure?

          All I know is that there is existence and there is awareness of existence. That’s all I know for sure.

          And I feel that life isn’t quite right. Instinctively I know that it should easier than it is. Why isn’t life quite right? Well, because there is an underlying fear of life–an underlying, constant unrightness.

          Those of us who recognize this will run to try to solve this problem in many ways. We run to religion, spirituality, analysis, philosophy, therapy, enlightenment, awakening, understanding, practices, meditation and all the rest of it. Has any of that really worked? We can look at all of human history or we can look at just span of our own lives, and ask this basic question. Have any of these endeavors worked?

          Nisargadatta said he broke free of the this underlying unrightness of life by holding on to the sense of I AM. Ramana said that all you have to do is inquire “who am I?”

          When I first came cross these, I was confused by this simple thing they suggest. That’s because my head was full of ideas. I didn’t know what they are asking me to do. What I are they referring to? The ego? The false I? The True Self? The mind, thoughts, emotions, body?

          I suppose I came across John Sherman just at the right time. I am in place where releasing and awareness have achieved some success. I conduct my life with calm and peace, and I can release fears and anxiety very quickly. But I also know even though this is much better than I was four years ago, this still is not freedom.

          If I had listened to Nisargadatta and Ramana without my ideas I would have known that what they were asking me to do was very simple. They were saying just to look at yourself. Whatever my sense of me is, look/listen/feel that. I am here. Look at that. It’s important to point out that they were not saying to look for anything. Just feel the sense of I, the sense of I am, the sense of I am here.

          How do I know that this looking is effective?

          I don’t know. I have to prove it or disprove to myself.

          1. Mikkel

            Yes it makes sence to me, that everything should be treated the exact same way, wether its depression or just sticky confusion that creates the pressure. I never had a problem with observing, in fact it puzzles me how one can possibly not observe. But apparently the outcome is depended on time.

            What takes time for me is, that I want to observe emotions, that are not present but only a memory and something I fear in the future. So I spent the time trying to visualize those artificial emotions in order to observe them. Now I know that you probably would suggest me only to observe the present fear of them, and if I do that it might give me some peace right now but not when they suddently appear again tomorrow.

            I noticed that hard emotions only have a short peak for me, like 5-10 minuttes, and afterwards I tend to spent weeks trying to deal with it, where those 5-10 minuttes seems to repeat themself in my head with less and less harshness.

            But anyway it makes sence if I just try letting go of the fear of that, which I cant see clear enought. It might just take some time. And the security for the future is of course only relative and eventually I have to accept, if I can only work a couple of days at a time. This passive approach is kind of universal.

            As I said, observing is generelly easy for me, but there seems to be a momentum with the hardest emotions.

            For many years I have practiced meditation as a basic part of my work. When I meditated I experienced something very particular, that feels like a switch buttom that can turn the light on and off, not gradually but instantly. It feels like all the physical sences gets activated all at once, and suddently you can feel your knee as if you couldnt feel it before. I would describe it as a physical sensation on the frontal lobe, in which there happens a visualization of your body and everything around you, as if you animate it in your mind. I have no idea what happens mechaically, but I know that it speeds up your brain 1000 times, you think 1000 times clearer, you can sense yourself 1000 times more.

            I did that for many years every day once every 20 minutte, I even used a stop watch sometimes, untill it became persistent, and now I rarely think about it anymore, it happens automatically, except if I sleep or watch a movie.

            I wonder if that is what you mean by looking at yourself. I almost forgot that this technique is totally unknown to most people.

            1. Mikkel

              I havent been able to articulate myself clear on this topic, and it got mixed up a bit.

              Concerning the meditation part – I think if any people are asked to look at themself, that will work exactly like meditation does. But if people are asked to meditate, they might not look at themself immediately but they will need some guidance.

              So what John Sherman is saying is, that being yourself in a seemingly dualistic reality is a gateway to the nondual awareness? Since real life and duality is everything we have, and therefore the idea of nondualism will always be an abstraction. It has to be practical, and the practice is found in the sence of I AM.

              He talk alot about Ramana, and he mentioned that Ramana as a young man pretended to be dead. That was exactly what I did a month ago. I decided to commit suicide, and I started to imagine how it should be done, and how people would react etc. I had that very same experience that form arose quite beyond my control, that my feelings were automatic, which kind of created new life and energy as if by magic.

              Though I think that death in itself would be easy, in fact it would be the easiest thing in the world. I have been more obsessed with suffering. I regularly try to hold my breath as long as I can to cause physical pain, and everytime I hit a wall, where I feel paralyzed of energy. When I start breathing again, I drag that paralization with me as fear for a short time.

              The interesting thing is, that if I should summarize if I ever encountered anything truly devastating, that never happens. Layers start to fall apart rapidly when you hold your breath as long as you can, one layer pr second or so. You keep finding a deeper state of being, your dearest values start falling away, but you always find something behind it.

              1. Kaushik Post author

                Yes, I suppose looking at yourself is like a meditation, but that complicates it. People are afraid to start to meditate. Those who meditate get very attached to it, and it becomes something else.

                Looking at yourself is simpler.

                I complicated it when I first ran across it from Ramana and Nisargadatta. I was full of spiritual ideas and I mis-interpreted it.

                It’s as simple as looking at yourself.

  5. Dark Warrior

    When you are looking, no matter what comes up, just smile at it and continue looking. Especially when you don’t feel like smiling at it. I am speaking of smiling internally while breathing and relaxing and giving into the pain and fear of the process. This is very hard, but every single iota of reclaimed energy and attention is so vital for raising our consciousness to the levels of freedom. My inquiry and looking became a nightmare until I joined the presence of others doing the same exact thing. The power of the looking increases in intesity and clarity. Discover group meditation if you haven’t already. Its not always easy to go to something like that regularly but if you are meditating alone, in solitude, and looking without being able to transmute what you are looking at, then you just don’t have enough energy on your own yet. You have to fill up with energy. And from my experience that can only come from other lookers. In silence. The feeling in the room is one of doing nothing. Its just a collective watching. And it is so powerful. I am turning around a disasterous 3 year kundalini ordeal of chronic pain and severe problems. I didn’t think I would survive. No matter how bad I feel or what is going on the collective consciousness of the group creates a field of accessible energy that turns my looking into something greater than myself. One of the greatest gifts of participating in something like this is you get to see that the looking that liberates and frees you does not come from you! It comes from Love. A Love that is present in the room and inside of you and everyone else, not directed at anyone or anything. There is no excuse for not meditating in groups. I don’t even speak to anyone there but I still go. I am there to look, and to experience something transformative through that looking. What it has done is truly miraculous. The looking takes on a life of its own because the energy of the group is greater than the sum of its parts. Everyone gets together and looks together and something special happens. Do it. There is no reason to struggle at this with too little energy and focus to cut through all the fear, doubt, insanity and pain. It is all manageable in groups. Its not about fitting in. Come as you are. I am silent, I say nothing. What could I say that wouldn’t be an expression of my pain or boasting about how good it makes me feel? I just want to heal. I communicate through my silence and the big smile on my face and the inner heat that makes my palms sweat. For straightforward injections of truth and a simple question and answer format on everything about enlightenment you could ever want to know, please give David R. Hawkins book “I: Reality and Subjectivity” a read. If I were allowed only one book it would be that one, and I have read them all. This is just what has worked for me. I am healing rapidly from these two things. A lot of preparation of the body’s nervous system is required to handle the energy that accompanies higher states of consciousness. It can be hard to function. When the painbody, the ego, the unconsciousness, the karma come up, it is a victory. Smile. These are the moments we must look and accept the shadow. These are the moments we must die. If you dont have the energy of the group to encompass you and be there as a buffer as you face actual demons in your psyche and all too convincing pain in your body, it is very very hard to make any progress. Actual terror comes up during the biggest leaps in awareness. The process of enlightenment is unbelievabley painful and demanding for all of us. I am so very proud to even just speak some of my experience to others who are dedicating their life to enlightenment. Online and off, it is amazing to me that other people are going through this despite how difficult it is. It is so rare, but there are people out there whos only reason for living is to awaken as much as is possible for them in this lifetime. They would rather die trying. Being conscious of our connection to God’s Love can seem impossible in these bodies, living in a world that does not care at all most of the time. More energy and awareness can mean more sensativity, likely leading to more suffering. It seems backwards sometimes. But the looking can go on for a long long time. If you accept all of it you can look and never have to look away ever again. Self hatred burns up with that kind of commitment. Just say I will sit and look at my self hatred or whatever and smile at it. Take it to a radical extreme. Even if you grimace in pain, always have a tiny bit of openness inside, trying to smile at the pain. Peace is the way, no matter what is happening. No matter what, keep going. You are going to need that kind of momentum when you have to pass through the final gateway where duality and the self actually die. This is the state of the sage. If that is too scary there is always unconditional love. That is the state of the saint. Just remember the difficulties only clear through radical acceptance. You have to understand the anxiety, the depression, the pain, the suffering in you. The only way to do that is to face it 100 percent and not wimp out. Keep going back, keep looking, keep doing your best to smile at it so it will change into pure consciousness.

  6. Shailesh

    Hi Kaushik,
    Been a very keen visitor of your website and I must admit after Ekhart Tolle book Power of Now its your words that resonate with me… you know am kinda relatively new to the idea of seeking completeness, security, control, etc as a mind driven objective if I can call it that..
    ok lets talk abt my probem now kaushik, you see I fully realize that I need to rest in awareness and being present.. that is the sense of I AM in hindi i even used to repeat this to myself many times like main main houn!! par u know my main thing is am not able to balance my practical life with the sense of I AM… i mean I need to run a business and being the boss of an organization I need to be judgemental… thats what my job is! and i need to take decisions in the interest of the business…at times they are not decisions based on acceptance allowing kind of stuff spirtuality talks abt… i hope ur getting me… Do I have to leave this domain altogether to be at peace? cause u know what letting go is very hard for me i am so damm identified with my mind! its what made me reach where I am afterall!
    Pls give your feedback…

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Sailesh,

      Good to have you here.

      Eckhart Tolle does talk about presence, and I have here as well. However, I gave up the practice of presence–it didn’t stay with me. I think what happens with trying to be present is that we put the mind on “pause” for few seconds. In my experience, it doesn’t really lead to anything.

      I found that just observing–observing thoughts for example–was more effective in putting me in “witness consciousness” state. In the last four years I’ve explored many of these practices, and found that awareness (observing) and releasing are very useful. They’ve helped me release anxiety and , and conduct life from a calm and peaceful place.

      Useful, yes, but still this is not freedom.

      What I’m now doing is just looking at the sense of “I AM.” Saying it that way though, using words like I AM, can complicate it. All it is is looking at yourself. There are no thoughts about about looking for anything in particular–you’re not looking for I AM or awareness or True Self or false self. Just looking at yourself, whatever you feels like right here and now. Looking/listening/feeling–whichever makes sense. In the beginning, we might not understand what looking is. This is probably why I didn’t try Ramana’s “who am I” or Nisargadatta’s “sense of I AM”, even though they made complete intuitive sense. It’s just looking at yourself. No need to complicate that with spiritual concepts.

      The other thing you ask–well I don’t know if I have a good answer for that. I was very confused about that as well. For about two years, I was confused. The place where awakening meets the practical demands of life–well, that can be pretty confusing. While we’re awakening, what’s the best way to handle the practical stuff in life, like work and money and relationship and bills and the things in us which we consider “bad”? I didn’t really know the answer.

      In the last six months or so, however, this question has completely disappeared. There is no longer any conflict in me about what to do, how to do it, whether what I do is “spiritual” or not. There is no yearning to improve or to measure my actions against spiritual standards.

      So, if you’re looking at yourself, you don’t need to worry about anything else, because nothing else will slow down or speed up the looking.

      And if you stay with it, you’ll find that this whole question disappears.

      And that’s what I like about this looking, looking at yourself, that all the questions that we think are so important, disappear. It doesn’t matter what else you do, it doesn’t matter if you’re religious, or not religious, or against religion; doesn’t matter if you’re spiritual or not, or you seek or don’t seek, or you are making a lot of money or you’re poor, or if you feel you are too judgmental or you’re not. You don’t have to worry that you’re too identified with your mind, or that you are present in clear awareness. It doesn’t matter.

      Acceptance is not what we think it is. Acceptance is not something you have to do–it’s more of something that you stop doing. You stop resisting.

      But we don’t really even have to understand that.

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