I had watched a thirteen year old little girl with yellow curls and a short blue ice skating dress, whirl around the ice for days, hours at a time, and one night she skated over to me and said Gruss Gott!
Another time, in German, want to see me do something?
I smiled. I was too shy to say anything. I had grown up in an Indian family in Uganda, Africa, we were refugees in a UN camp in Austria, with a very uncertain future. Of course, at 14, it was all an adventure for me. I saw snow and ice for the first time, and felt bitterness of cold and wind, and saw girls with yellow hair and impossible blue eyes.
When you’re thrown in a crowd of unfamiliar people who look and speak and behave unfamiliarly, it can make you a little shy at 14.
I felt the divine in this idyllic scene. A black starry night, a frozen black pond—how can it be so cold that water freezes solid?—a small bridge, a stone which was often thrown to make sure the ice was solid, a solitary lamp, a little kind girl in a blue skirt, sounds of swooshing and slicing on the ice, and occasional wind in the brisk stillness.
I was awkward, shy, wearing donated clothes, shoes that were too big.
She did some twirls, and skated backwards, and skated on one foot, the other white skate high behind her—all very impossible to me.
From that night on, I had a favorite place to stand and watch. She skated and sometimes smiled at me.
One night, she skated over and wordlessly handed me a pair of black skates. They fit perfectly. She giggled as I stumbled and fell over and over again.
I learned quickly and skated the winter away. I had a recurring dream, where I would simply just skate, and the ground in front of me would turn to ice as I slid forward, through towns and cities and forests and rivers, forever.
Sometimes the divine in us makes a connection with the divine in someone else.
This 2012 thing goes something like this–the Mayans are said to have ended their very accurate calendar on winter solstice 2012. That’s 12/21/2012 to us pedestrians.
Some see this as a prediction of the end of the world, but you know what my theory is? The guy the Mayans put in charge of writing out the calendar was probably like me, essentially lazy, and he got tired, and when nobody was looking, he said screw this I’m going home.
All seriousness aside, I’m guessing that at pretty much every point in history the world has been coming to an end. There’s always some freaking calamity about to happen.
The interesting thing about this is not the truth or fallacy of 2012 but the urge to believe in some sort of doomsday ending. I can think of two reasons for this. One is when our lives are boring or miserable, a calamity of some sort is rather encouraging—it takes the mind off.
The truth is that as a species we may be hitting a point of non-sustainability in many areas, technologically, ecologically, spiritually and culturally. At some point, way back when, probably with the advent of agriculture ten thousand years ago, or perhaps even earlier, we separated from our true nature. We are caught in a program of control which finds us today a very cruel species. Interestingly, there is wide-spread acceptance of this insanity.
The word separation is bandied about a lot in spiritual circles. What does it even mean?
We create a concept of “I” in the mind, which is just a thought. The “I” that we take ourselves to be is not real. It’s limiting—of course it’s limiting because it is the thought of ‘I’. Like the word table is hardly a table. This separation engenders fear because it feels funny. It feels unnatural. It feels funny and unnatural and fearful but we just talk ourselves into it, then we get very familiar with it. And in those times when the insanity gets to be undeniably insane, or misery gets to be undeniably miserable, we say well this is just the way people are.
I mean really, look back and try to find the times when you were completely at peace–when you felt peaceful, secure, and happy, just because you are alive. You’ll find those times but isn’t it strange that those times are rare?
With creating this wall of opaque concepts around us, centered on the concept of “I”, human beings have continued the misery for generations, to the point where we find ourselves today, a rather neurotic and cruel species. And because of this belief we create all sorts of other beliefs, and morality and spirituality and religion and technology and culture, to keep ourselves separated from our “base nature” not realizing it is this very separation that has brought us to this cruel and fearful insanity, where the last hundred years has seen us whack away 100 million of our own species.
Are we inherently evil? Of course not. We’re just under a fearful delusion. To see this we just have to drop our delusions. We just have to loosen our attachment to thinking.