Divine Valentine and 2012

Divine Valentine

I had watched a thirteen year old little girl with yellow curls and a short blue ice skating dress, whirl around the ice for days, hours at a time, and one night she skated over to me and said Gruss Gott!

Another time, in German, want to see me do something?

I smiled. I was too shy to say anything. I had grown up in an Indian family in Uganda, Africa, we were refugees in a UN camp in Austria, with a very uncertain future. Of course, at 14, it was all an adventure for me. I saw snow and ice for the first time, and felt bitterness of cold and wind, and saw girls with yellow hair and impossible blue eyes.

When you’re thrown in a crowd of unfamiliar people who look and speak and behave unfamiliarly, it can make you a little shy at 14.

I felt the divine in this idyllic scene. A black starry night, a frozen black pond—how can it be so cold that water freezes solid?—a small bridge, a stone which was often thrown to make sure the ice was solid, a solitary lamp, a little kind girl in a blue skirt, sounds of swooshing and slicing on the ice, and occasional wind in the brisk stillness.

I was awkward, shy, wearing donated clothes, shoes that were too big.

She did some twirls, and skated backwards, and skated on one foot, the other white skate high behind her—all very impossible to me.

From that night on, I had a favorite place to stand and watch. She skated and sometimes smiled at me.

One night, she skated over and wordlessly handed me a pair of black skates. They fit perfectly. She giggled as I stumbled and fell over and over again.

I learned quickly and skated the winter away. I had a recurring dream, where I would simply just skate, and the ground in front of me would turn to ice as I slid forward, through towns and cities and forests and rivers, forever.

Sometimes the divine in us makes a connection with the divine in someone else.

2012

2012 comic

photo credit: nDevilTV

This 2012 thing goes something like this–the Mayans are said to have ended their very accurate calendar on winter solstice 2012. That’s 12/21/2012 to us pedestrians.

Some see this as a prediction of the end of the world, but you know what my theory is? The guy the Mayans put in charge of writing out the calendar was probably like me, essentially lazy, and he got tired, and when nobody was looking, he said screw this I’m going home.

All seriousness aside, I’m guessing that at pretty much every point in history the world has been coming to an end. There’s always some freaking calamity about to happen.

The interesting thing about this is not the truth or fallacy of 2012 but the urge to believe in some sort of doomsday ending. I can think of two reasons for this. One is when our lives are boring or miserable, a calamity of some sort is rather encouraging—it takes the mind off.

The other reason is that there is some truth in it.

The truth is that as a species we may be hitting a point of non-sustainability in many areas, technologically, ecologically, spiritually and culturally. At some point, way back when, probably with the advent of agriculture ten thousand years ago, or perhaps even earlier, we separated from our true nature. We are caught in a program of control which finds us today a very cruel species. Interestingly, there is wide-spread acceptance of this insanity.

The word separation is bandied about a lot in spiritual circles. What does it even mean?

We create a concept of “I” in the mind, which is just a thought. The “I” that we take ourselves to be is not real. It’s limiting—of course it’s limiting because it is the thought of ‘I’. Like the word table is hardly a table. This separation engenders fear because it feels funny. It feels unnatural. It feels funny and unnatural and fearful but we just talk ourselves into it, then we get very familiar with it. And in those times when the insanity gets to be undeniably insane, or misery gets to be undeniably miserable, we say well this is just the way people are.

I mean really, look back and try to find the times when you were completely at peace–when you felt peaceful, secure, and happy, just because you are alive. You’ll find those times but isn’t it strange that those times are rare?

With creating this wall of opaque concepts around us, centered on the concept of “I”, human beings have continued the misery for generations, to the point where we find ourselves today, a rather neurotic and cruel species. And because of this belief we create all sorts of other beliefs, and morality and spirituality and religion and technology and culture, to keep ourselves separated from our “base nature” not realizing it is this very separation that has brought us to this cruel and fearful insanity, where the last hundred years has seen us whack away 100 million of our own species.

Are we inherently evil? Of course not. We’re just under a fearful delusion. To see this we just have to drop our delusions. We just have to loosen our attachment to thinking.

41 thoughts on “Divine Valentine and 2012

  1. Nadia-Happy Lotus

    Hi Kaushik,

    During the course of my time in the convent and when I was living in ashrams, we were taught that the significance of 2012 was that it was the start of the Golden Age. The Kali yuga age would end and the age of love and compassion would begin. It is suppose to represent the dawn of the age where people will recognize a greater wisdom and love.

    Now this was taught to me by very high monks and none of them every mentioned doomsday. Rather it was a transition of being. Where violence and anger would be replaced with love and compassion.

    And one more thing, true spirituality does not teach separation. That unfortunately is a side-effect of the masses engaging in something without fully knowing the concepts. Forgive me for this but I have come to realize that many people use the word “spiritual” without fully knowing what it truly means.

    True spirituality unites and does not separate. Nor does it shun the duties of the world. It is meant to unify all that occurs and present an methodology for how to be in the world but not of it.

    Hope all is well, my friend.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Nadia,
      I’ve seen various definitions of Kali Yuga.

      The important thing is that clearly human beings are in transition, more than we have been in other time in history. So perhaps this truly is the age of awakening.

      Spirituality is a broad term. I don’t say anything against spirituality. I do frequently point out that spiritual living is very different from accumulating spiritual beliefs.

      Spiritual traditions can be very helpful to some people. And the guidelines of traditions can provide a methodology of living, as you point out. Love, compassion, unification are already natural to us, and when spiritual beliefs help us find what is already natural, that is of course a wonderful thing.

      I like the way Adyashanti puts it, in a very balanced way: “It is good to remember that the goal of Buddhism is to create Buddhas, not Buddhists, as the goal of Christianity is to create Christs, not Christians. In the same vein, my teachings are not meant to acquire followers or imitators, but to awaken beings to eternal truth and thus to awakened life and living.” At another point, he wonders how it is that “spirituality and awakening ever got mixed up.”

      There’s a Zen saying: “If you see the Buddha, kill him.” The blasphemy is shocking, but only to point out that even though it is not easy to be critical of spiritual methodologies, we must diligently watch out for the spiritualized ego. Jed McKenna, who some people think is Adyashanti, has a pretty good article about it here: http://ezinearticles.com/?Spirituality:-Blues-for-Buddha&id=13244.

      In the end, each person knows what works. As the Buddha said, work out your own salvation. We need a gentle honesty. It’s an on-going process.

      I hope you are well too!

      love and peace,
      k

  2. Aurora

    That is wonderful about the ice-skating story. And true. Giving is a beautiful endless circel that touches Souls every time.

    And I really liked what you wrote about 2012. Thank you for that. It’s become such a widespread myth of sorts, and it’s nice to hear common sense.
    .-= Aurora´s last blog ..Clouds =-.

  3. Brenda (betaphi)

    Great cartoon, and the story left me longing to know more. . .her name, did you ever hold her hand while skating, did you develop a crush on her or she on you, did you develop “impossible” skating skills, did she help you overcome your shyness, why does “impossible blue eyes” thrill me, is recall considered thinking. . .When I write stories from my past, it feels like a meditation in the present moment.

    Valentines Day, past loves, winter sports — these things have been on my mind too. “Sometimes the divine in us makes a connection with the divine in someone else.” Very cool premise. You’ve reminded me of a time when I was completely at peace, happy, and secure. Maybe I’ll write about it. Thanks for sharing this, Kaushik. It’s very inspiring.
    .-= Brenda (betaphi)´s last blog ..The Future =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Brenda,
      Ah, the story was about the kindness of a little girl, and the sounds and colors of winter and skating and outdoors and night. Her name was Sophie. I knew her for a very short time; she was only visiting that area. I never developed impossible skills, but I did skate away a difficult and confusing winter.

      Writing stories from your past is wonderful. Thinking, memories, and imagination are not bad–it is only when we identify too closely with them that we lose the magnificence of living.

      I look forward to reading your story.

      I hope you are well my friend!

      love and peace,
      k

  4. Lana-DreamFollowers Blog

    What a beautiful story Kaushik, you have a great talent for writing, I was literally mesmerized with this post. I believe 2012 will be an awakening year for humanity.

    And you are totally right, the times of pure peace are rare. I am learning to have more and more of those moments, it takes practice, it takes focus and it does take lots of letting go.
    .-= Lana-DreamFollowers Blog´s last blog ..you won’t love THERE if you don’t love HERE first =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Lana,
      It does seem like there is much more awareness about awakening. 2012 may be it.

      “…it takes practice, it takes focus and it does take lots of letting go.” Well said!

      Thanks for the kind words and I hope you are well!

      love and peace,
      k

  5. Patty - Why Not Start Now?

    Hi Kaushik – I love the intermingling of these two stories, you as the shy young boy in those moments with your skating muse, and then your musings about the 2012 prophecies. I don’t know if this is true, but I imagine you in those early moments being at peace, secure, happy, in the joy of being alive. What is available to all of us, as you say at the end of your post. It’s a perfect reminder of how simple it really is to drop the delusions. Makes me think those first 100 million years could actually trump the last 100.
    .-= Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays: The Clouds Edition =-.

  6. Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

    Kaushik, I laughed when I read this — you’re funny, delightful and so approachable in this post. Not that I couldn’t have sensed that before, but it’s not a side I’ve seen often, and I really enjoyed it. Thank you!

    2012 needs some lightness around it, and honestly, the things I’ve read that feel good to me seem to speak to just that: 2012 is about a new world forming where the light paves the way and we all come from a more heart-centered place.

    And I haven’t gone ice skating since I was… well, it was many years ago, and as a kid I remember LOVING it. Funny how we abandon childhood activities that brought us such joy, and for what? To become a more responsible, busy, but surly adult. Hmm, something’s not right!

    Be well, my friend.
    .-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Megan,

      Yes, aside from the 2012 predictions, it does feel that a wave of awareness is going through the world. Perhaps because of the internet, there seems to more interest in spiritual awakening. Perhaps this is the cusp of more heart-centered age.

      The ego separates us from true nature and we forget how to play, and become “busy, but surly”–I love that description!

      Thanks, Megan, always good to hear from you here. I hope you are well!

      peace and love,
      k

  7. Janice

    Good Afternoon Mr. K,
    Okay, I am just going to say it. I have been practicing your release method with so many situations in my life, but…… the first thing in the morning, I wake up, take my emotional pulse, it is typically not in the awesome joy category and then immediately want to pull the covers over my head. Why am I not flowing? Why do I still have pieces of my day that don’t feel like they are getting well? Now that I have made a commitment to living in awareness, drinking myself to death is not an option.
    Janice

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Janice,
      It takes patience and love.

      Someone asked me once if I’m sure this is the path. It isn’t a path because there is no particular end-goal. The point of living is to live consciously, rather than in reaction to our conditioning and beliefs. Living consciously is simply living in Awareness, in this wide-open, uncluttered, innocent spaciousness. Releasing helps us see that most our suffering is resistance. Releasing creates spaciousness in us by helping us see that we don’t need to hold on to emotions and stuck patterns.

      Don’t seek any special states. Don’t seek happiness or flow. It takes time, patience, and love.

      My biggest lesson in during my long period of inertia was to love myself enough. It may sound like a strange thing to say “love myself” but how can we even begin to be in compassionate flow with all that is, until we love ourselves enough?

      love and peace,
      k

  8. Janice

    Let me see if I got this, instead of crawling under the bed and never coming out, I get up in the morning and if I feel that dread of the upcoming day, I say to myself, “don’t try to fix this feeling, just let it be there”, is that right? or should I try the “I don’t know exactly what this feeling is, but, I can feel it and release it.” I am sorry to be so lame about this but, I am getting results in other areas, but I cannot connect the dots in my brain about morning time.
    Guess who?
    I am too embrassed to sign my name.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Janice,
      It’s not lame at all. We all go through this, some of us in different ways, and some us are very caught up in it and don’t recognize it, and some of us are not able to talk about it. You are open and honest and that will help you.

      And yes, that is what works for me, is not to try go for any special feeling or state, but to completely allow, watch, remain aware, release, be patient, and love exactly what is.

      love and peace,
      k

  9. Janice

    Mr. K.,
    I gotta tell ya. I read the Joan Tollison article, Simplicity of What Is, there was this line in the story about how we try to “get rid of ourselves”, that sent chills down my spine, of course, I cried, and then when you said there is no goal, no state to seek, no experience to strive for, I again felt very emotional. You see, there was a piece of me that really thought you and Joan(like) people had a golden ticket to Buddah club-med and I really wanted to meet you all at the Zen gardens for eternal peace. I am facing some crushing blows to some of my illusions. Sometimes it sucks to keep going forward.
    In the mornings I feel raw and unprotected. this commitment to move forward is challenging me in ways that I never expected, who am I without my illusions? I am finding out that I love denial, it really keeps me chipper and up beat. But, I think I might be out growing it.
    Love & Light Always,
    Janice

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Janice,
      It’s quite a revelation when we realize that what we are seeking is right here and right now. What we are seeking is that which is seeking.

      Happiness is you being yourself. Not the limited self that you pretend to be, but the true, natural self that you already are. It takes tremendous effort to hold up the illusion, maya, and this is why most of us are exhausted and fearful. As Lester Levenson, it is either “simple or impossible.”

      What I talk about here is using the practices of Awareness and Release. I like those because there are absolutely no pre-requisites, and these practices are easy to integrate in daily living, and they make us feel better right away. Some other things that can help are to develop a gentle self-honesty, uncling from accumulated concepts, watch out for a spiritualized ego, and patience. And love. We start with loving ourselves, and our first reaction may be presumptuous–we may say of course I love myself, but if we are still and we notice, we may find that love is something we can develop.

      The feelings you describe are common. I think very few people are able to talk about it. I have experienced anxiety, doubts, frustration, a feeling of futility, inertia, detachment, fear and negativity. I have reached out for special states and special revelations.

      I like Joan Tolifson, because she is clear, straightforward and compassionate. In her writing, I never get the feeling that she is separating herself as someone who has figured out something special. It is all here and now and simple and accessible to everyone, without any pre-requisites.

      Thanks for being open and thanks for your insights, Janice.

      peace and love,
      k

    1. Kaushik Post author

      aDeeb, yes good point. 2012 was not on our spiritual scope until very recently. I do believe we are potentially on the cusp of a global awakening. Whether it actually happens, or how it happens, or when it happens, no one can say, and if any one does say, I don’t any reason to buy into those predictions, no matter who they come from.

  10. Evita

    Hi Kaushik

    The story was so heart warming! I visualized it all as I read it and saw that girl with her pale skin and blond hair, and you just standing there being enchanted by this new and so wonderful creature 🙂

    As for 2012, I so hear you about our “wanting” it. I don’t think we are of course evil at all, we just want a change. Especially those of us who know that a better way, a more peace filled and loving way is possible. And unfortunately it seems to get the masses to change, it takes some sort of “disaster”….

    So we will see what happens. I personally see this as an amazing time of change on this Earth to be alive, and believe within that no matter what happens, it will open a beautiful new door for humanity.
    .-= Evita´s last blog ..On the Pilgrimage of Life: Talking With Bernie Krausse About A Special Journey =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Evita,

      I completely agree: it’s a fascinating time to be alive. We may be on the cusp of greatness.

      Thanks for visiting, and thanks very much for the kind words!

      I hope you are well.

      peace and love,
      k

  11. Lisa (mommymystic)

    Kaushik, lovely story. And you know already that I am with you on 2012, it all seems to me a gigantic projection of this initial ‘separation delusion’, and an increasing sense that this separation has moved beyond just causing us personal pain. And as you say, there are many, many interpretations of the kali yoga, when it began and when it ends – I have come across at least 7 in my Buddhist and Hindu studies, and came across dozens of different views on the Mayan calendar as well, when researching that. So it is not about the calendar. It is about us.
    .-= Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..Reading Omens, and My Moment With the Condors =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Lisa,
      Yes, I remember you had written similarly about 2012. I’ve seen several interpretations of the Yugas, and any interpretation linking it to 2012 has to be a very contemporary re-interpretation.

      Charles Eisenstein, in his Ascent of Humanity, which is available freely on the internet, gives a good (and long) theory about how humanity’s delusion of separateness started off a program of control long ago and all our endeavors, whether personal or collectively cultural or spiritual or religious or technological, serve to enforce this delusion. In my experience, the seeing through of the delusion is easier if we can uncling from beliefs and concepts, including spiritual ones.

      I love the way you put it: It is about us.

      I hope you are well, my friend.

      love and peace,
      k

  12. Sarah

    I totally blame the Internet for my continued spiritual awakening. Seriously. If this were happening to me a century ago, I would be in an insane asylum by now, probably check myself in although I’m sure there would be others who could or would do it for me.

    In the not-so-distant past, people didn’t have access to the information, to the records of human experience in the way I do now. And I have it for virtually free. I have access to collective human thought in a tangible way without regard to time or space. Using the power of google, I find others like you. And I know that what I am going through is a proper part of the human experience.

    Is it happening faster? Is it building up? The Internet, I suspect, shows us how we really work. We can find each other and grow stronger, from now to 2012 and, I suspect, beyond.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Sarah,

      Yes, the internet is the new and effective medium of awakening. It’s wonderful that we can find information for free, and once we get started, we seem to run into the stuff we need. It’ s a great way to try to make sense our own experience.

      Is it happening faster? Yes, I suspect it is.

      Thanks, Sarah, for your insightful comment.

      love and peace,
      k

  13. Anastasiya

    Hi Kaushik,
    I do not believe in any theories of the end of the world because I do not see any reason to. If the end of the world will come then it will be here only because of our (human) stupidity, selfishness and ego.
    I support your ideas about 2012 and how we have turned into ego-centered species. If something can be changed then we should start from changing ourselves because this is how we can bring our world to peace and balance again.
    .-= Anastasiya´s last blog ..The Only Way to Bring Your Life into Balance Right Now =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Anastasiya,
      Yes, I agree, no reason to believe in the end of the world, and you are right, it has all to do with the ego and we can all individually re-gain our peace and balance. As Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. We can all begin to awaken, right here and right now.

      Thanks for your insight, thanks for visiting, and I hope to see you again!

      love and peace,
      k

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Brenda, amazing video–Barbara Maxx Hubbard is beautiful and compassionate. I agree with her completely. I am working on an article about the economy, and indications are that economic problems will get much worse. We don’t have to look at that with fear. It will be a time of elegance and individual awakening, as Barbara says, not an emergency, but an emergence. Whether that has to do with the Mayan’s 2012 is a minor point.

      Thanks, Brenda, I hope you are well my friend.

      love and peace,
      k

  14. Liara Covert

    I love how people move from using first person to third person point of view and seem to freak certain people out. This reminds us not everyone is comfortable with the idea or action of detaching from ego. In essence, the I or me perception enables people to identify with drama. A peson has free will to evolve out of that programming to experience something else.
    .-= Liara Covert´s last blog ..Experience the stillness =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Liara,

      Yes, excellent point. The ego is very clever, and has us believe that detaching from it will require a high price. That’s a very astute and subtle point. Thanks!

      love and peace,
      k

  15. Jan

    Kaushik…deep gassho. This may be one of the most poignant, stirring and (in some places) funny posts I have read. You are a marvelous writer and each time I visit here I drop a little deeper into my (lack of) self. I thank you..

    May we treat ourselves ever so gently as we journey on…
    .-= Jan´s last blog ..Meditation Monday – The Spark Within =-.

  16. Patti

    I loved the ice skating story.

    It’s funny that you are the only author that I don’t question, and just take everything you write as absolute fact. I knew there was nothing to worry about in 2012, but after I saw the recent movie a tiny part of me believed it was possible. So I read a bunch of stuff about it just to reassure myself, but still, there’s that lingering ridiculous insecurity about it. Then I read this and that tiny part of me isn’t worried anymore. I just read it so differently – if Dad says it, it must be so.

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