You have to actually do it.
At some point in your awakening you will have to actually do it. You have to set aside the learning and reading and thinking about it, and actually do it.
We all need help on this and we are never alone. But at some point you will actually have to do it.
Here, I talk about awareness and release and self-honesty. That’s sort of a gradual way of letting go of resistance.
The first insight may be a matter of luck–as they say, a matter of grace. This is the purpose of suffering. When there has been enough suffering, when you are tired of suffering, you may be open to looking at things in a different way, and you run into the right book or person or insight.
After you’ve had the first insight, why is awakening still difficult? Why does it take time? Why does it go up and down?
Is there a red pill of awakening? Is there a more direct way of awakening?
I don’t know if there is, but if there is, I venture that it has something to do with the dissolution of the “me.” When we can see that we carry around an idea of an “I” and everything we do and think and say has to do with this idea, rather than with being, things begin to happen. The false begins to unravel.
Is there a way of dissolving the idea of “me” more directly?
Nisgardatta Mahararaj was enlightened in two years. He meditated on the sense of “I AM.” He held on to the sense of “I AM” until he saw that it was just a figment. Ramana Maharishi and Adyashanti and others recommend the same sort of meditation.
Here I talk about awareness and release and self-honesty. I talk about this practice because that’s been my experience. Releasing, in particular, is a very helpful skill to build, and a fairly easy practice to start, and it has immediate benefits.
And with Awareness and Release and self-honesty, we can get to a point where there is a willingness to see.
And when there is stillness and self-honesty and a willingness to see, we may be ready to allow the realization that the “me” we carry around is just an idea. This is the portal to freedom.
And to do this, you have to actually do this. You have to actually learn to be aware. You have to actually buckle down and learn to release.
You will of course resist. But you have to do it; nobody else can do it for you. The fear you feel is false. You will have endless questions; your mind will never be satisfied; and you will want to bolt. Buckle down and do it. Face the fear, and see that it’s just a circular nothing.
And at some point in your awakening, you will have to stand on your own authority. You will stop relying on spirituality and pithy sayings and quotations and other people’s words. You will stop looking for validation for your spirituality. You will stop seeking. You will stop fooling yourself.
You will know when you are ready. You will know when you can be completely honest with yourself. You will understand that self-honesty is not just reporting what you think you see. Because what you think you see is probably an invention. Self-honesty is knowing that even right now, you may be fooling yourself.
You can only be honest when there is absolutely no expectation as to what you will find. And still there is a willingness to look. A willingness to actually do it.