Why you won’t look

Honesty

We’re not concerned about external honesty here. That kind of honesty that we want, or say we want, outside to others–well, that’s kind of important, but not for awakening.

I’ve had clinical depression, and any depressive will tell you that depression makes you into a very capable liar. A depressive’s life swings up and down, inexorably, exhaustively, and others’ perception of you swings with it, so you learn to lie to smooth out people’s expectations of you.

We’re not concerned with that kind of honesty here, because external honesty doesn’t have much to do with awakening, except that with awakening the reasons to be externally dishonest disappear.

So it’s worked itself out on its own.

We’re concerned here with internal honesty.

Stark self-honesty isn’t difficult but it does take a little practice to reverse the habit of falling back on conditioned beliefs. And to be honest (hehe), I don’t exactly know how to articulate how to develop self-honesty.

I mean, look. Look inside. It’s not like there are several people in there, so it’s strange that we lie to ourselves in the first place, but this is what we do.

The mind has preferences. When looking at any thing, the mind already wants to believe it is true or it is false, it is this way or it is that way, not based on whether it actually is, but based on the mind’s preferences.

Preferences–based on conditioning and pretexts and grooves and memorized clever sayings and beliefs and approval.

Honesty is not just to see what’s going on inside, but also to suss out whether what you are seeing is real or fiction.

So how do you get this kind of stark and clear honesty?

Well, I don’t actually know how to articulate this.

It takes a willingness.

I don’t consistently have this kind of clear self-honesty. But I know this and so I can work it. The willingness is there.

It’s the willingness to destroy. It’s the willingness to see what the mind does not want to see. It’s the willingness to not fall back to beliefs and conditioned reflexes.

The mind creates. That’s its function — to create symbols and concepts. These are essentially lies because they are representations. And so every belief is a lie. Every desire is a lie. Every emotion is a lie. Every thought is a lie.

If you want anything inside you–if you want peace, if you want compassion, if you want enlightenment, if you want to snuff out fear or anger, if you want anything at all which is different from what is right now, then you have be extra-alert. Wanting can get in the way of stark honesty.

And so this sort of stark honesty requires a willingness, a willingness to see beyond beliefs, to see in spite of beliefs, to stand at the edge of the mind and look.

If you were looking for instructions on how to develop self-honesty, you’re probably disappointed with this.

But can you see how the need for instruction on self-honesty is itself a lie?

Look at it. You just have to be willing.

We only lie to ourselves because we want to.  Stand on the edge of mind and decide that any viewpoint can be true and any view point can be false. The mind cannot know, because the mind creates and the mind wants.

You just have to be willing. And self-honesty develops.

Courage

Bourdeilles l Lost in the maze
Creative Commons License photo credit: Julien H

Yeah, it does take courage.

It’s not the courage of overcoming fear. It’s more the courage of letting fear and anger be, and doing it anyway.

Look, Truth has only one thing going for it. That’s truthfulness.

Delusion has everything else going for it.

So it does take courage.

It takes courage, because a lot of people who’ve been here, have looked at the release technique or the “You do not exist” thing, might say that something about this makes sense.

But they will not actually try it. Some people will say they don’t understand it. It’s too simple. It’s too hard.

Some people actually get angry. Some are afraid. Some say they are not ready.

That’s where courage comes in. To look at something your mind does not want to look at.

Why you don’t look

So yeah it does take honesty and courage and willingness.

But what it really takes is looking.

Every enlightened teaching points to seeing through the false self as the fulcrum of awakening.

See that who you think you are does not exist. And you’re on your way.

And yet most of us do not tackle this directly. We do everything else, we do spiritual practices and meditation and accumulate knowledge and we become pain-in-the-ass, long-suffering spiritual seekers and philosophers. Really, we do everything–except look directly at the problem.

I didn’t look directly either. I fooled around with other stuff for four years.

Suppose your arm hurts and it is because you are carrying a pebble in your fist. You’ve been carrying it for so long that it is completely familiar. It makes your arm hurt and it makes the small things in life very awkward and big things painful, but you have forgotten you are carrying a pebble in your fist.

Suppose that someone comes along and says, look. Open your fist and look. All you have to do is look. Look. Look.

You have two choices here. You can actually look. Or you can not-look.

Now you might think that reasonable people would just actually look. They would look and decide for themselves. They would look to see if looking is valuable.

But that’s not what most people do. People don’t look because the sense of self is threatened. People dismiss, theorize, meditate, spiritualize, deny, run, cry, and beat you up. They think about responsibility and free will and spirituality and God and goodness and scriptures and morality and they try to see how this fits into their own ossified beliefs and concepts. They debate semantics and they come up with beautiful, validating, and symmetric theories of how this can be true or not true.

People will get angry at me for even suggesting they look. Or they cower in fear.

This is what seeking is. Seeking, without actually looking. It’s utterly useless.

The power of all this seeking does not come from what these concepts and beliefs represent. The power comes from the ego’s will to survive. It is the ego’s fear of awakening.

That’s the human condition.

You don’t exist.

The word you is correct. Some people have a lot of trouble with the semantics. How is it even possible that you don’t exist, when there is all this activity going on? Doesn’t something have to exist to know that you don’t exist?

Of course it does. Existence is real. Awareness is real. Everything is real. The body, the mind, attention, thoughts, emotions–all real. You are not.

To say that the ego does not exist or the false self does not exist, is correct, but that also adds a safe level of abstraction. Most people, especially those who are familiar with awakening, will quickly agree that the false self or ego does not exist.

They’ll agree mentally. But mental agreement is not enough.

You don’t exist.

Look. Look. Actually look.

Looking is the literally the EASIEST faculty we have. It takes no effort notice. Look around you right now. Look at your computer. That’s how easy looking is. It takes no effort to notice.

The mind loves to manipulate mental concepts, pushing them this way and that way, until the arrangement of concepts satisfies something in the mind, and then there is mental agreement, and a boundary is drawn around it, and the mind will defend the boundaries, and vanquish anything that doesn’t fit the symmetry or validation from these concepts, never seeing that all of these mental gymnastics are simply the ego’s will to survive.

That’s pretty basic.

And you can forget about all the spiritual traditions and spiritual concepts. People flock to spirituality not to awaken, but because they are deeply attached to their suffering, and spirituality is a really effective to way to remain attached to your identity as a sufferer.

So you might have already seen through the fantasy of religion, and seen through the elitism of philosophy, and seen through the delusion of spirituality, and seen through the trap of intellectual grasping, and you might have already gone to more direct instruments.

Awareness, release, meditation, presence, acceptance, surrender, honesty, courage, and so on.

But these instruments you are using to awaken are all blunt.

Why?

Because you’re doing it all for something that does not exist.

The first thing is to see that there is no you. And all you need to do to see no-you is to look.

And you don’t have to quiet the mind to look. You don’t need to believe. You don’t need to figure it out.

You just need to look.

Look.

It’s not like you existed, and someone came by and said here, this is your body, and your mind, and your awareness, and your life. Now go and live your life.

That didn’t happen.

What happened was an infant was born. A body, a mind, awareness, life was born as an infant.

The you came later. You is only an idea.

The you that is weaved into every one of your thoughts and emotions and beliefs does not refer to anything.

Just look.

Look with the view that you do not exist. See how that can be true. Here, in real life. Not in a magical or mystical way. In actual daily, gritty living.

People will say, wait a minute, hold on there, because I do exist. Here I am. This is my body, and my thoughts, and my life.

There is a body, and there are thoughts, and there is life. It’s not your body, or your thoughts, or your life. Everything exists. Except you.

Is it literally true that you do not exist?

52 thoughts on “Why you won’t look

  1. Jeffrey Lapointe

    Kaushik,

    Inner honesty, willingness and looking. I like that – simple. I myself have been trying to rectify every emotion I ever had in the outside world. Perhaps I feel it is time to stop because I could go on forever. While my seeking has been very effective I haven’t had the courage to simply sit and look. Instead it is easier to discuss, to analysis, to sit in failure and success.

    Perhaps this is why Tolle managed to sit on a bench for two years and then not manage to create enlightenment with all his books.

    The work is ours and it is indeed an inner journey. It is possible to work from external to internal – 7 years of hard work tell me that but perhaps at this stage I can look back and say…no I did not seriously consider just looking. No, I was too busy trying to do everything to relieve the pain with the help of the mind.

    Inner honesty, willingness and looking. Nice.

    Love and light,
    Jeff

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Jeff,
      You do not have to understand or resolve every emotion.

      You are not feeling. There are feelings.
      You do not believe. There are beliefs.

      It is that simple. Willingness and looking.

      Yeah, I didn’t really look either in the last four years, until recently.

      Look. Focus.

  2. Ralph

    Kaushik,
    This direct looking that you speak of (Look Focus) is very misleading. I read your conversation you had with Ciaran and you speak of freeing people. In my opinion, if you want to free people you must meet them where they are on their journey and from there you lead and help them . For most, to just tell them ‘focus’ and ‘look’ will just go over their heads. This “10 minute microwave teaching” that they insist works at Ruthlesstruth is a joke. All they have is an ‘insight’ of their true nature and then their ego takes ownership of this insight and plays God.(you can’t get a bigger ego than that)… what a joke! .All it leads to is more confusion and frustration.

    If I would of told you 4 years ago before you started on this journey that all you need to do is just ‘look’ and ‘focus’ , you, at most would likely just get an insight. These 4 years you spent was needed and crucial to get where you are today. Don’t dismiss it as unnecessary. There is no technique. In truth, the only person you truly need to free is yourself.

    Here is a couple of quotes from Nisargadatta that gets overlooked by many :

    “You seem to want instant insight, forgetting that the instant is always preceded
    by a long preparation. The fruit falls suddenly, but the ripening takes time.”

    “To go beyond the mind, you must have your mind in perfect order. You cannot
    leave a mess behind and go beyond. The mess will bog you up. ‘Pick up your
    rubbish’ seems to be the Universal law. And a just law too.”

    Please read this:

    http://advaita.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Instructions-from-I-AM-THAT.pdf

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Ralph,
      You’re mixing up your strong emotions about the RT’ers with what is being said here.

      My intention in talking to Ciaran was to thank him for the technique, because it is solid and compelling and it works. I didn’t know he was going to publish it, but I don’t have a problem with that either. And if you read the conversation, it is clear that I’ve also expressed to him that there is further to go. There is stuff to release. And this what I tell people. Don’t stop. There is further to go.

      Whatever you feel about the RT’ers is fine, and I don’t mind that you want to express it here, but I’m not sure how useful it is do it here. It has nothing to do with what I’ve said or this site.

      Yes, my intention is to free people. That’s why this site exists.

      Yes, of course it’s important to meet people exactly where they are. That’s what this is site is about. This is why many people visit here, and many people feel free to comment here openly, and many others who don’t want to comment openly write to me to me in private, and many more just simply visit and absorb.

      This is why I lay my experience out there, in complete honesty and authenticity. I’m not anonymous. I’m a real person, with a real name, with a real life and a job and friends and family. I talk openly about my experience, from all the “bad” to all the “good”, whatever is happening, whether it’s depression/anxiety, frustration, confusion, awakening–it’s all out here for people to share with, resonate with, criticize or dismiss. I do this to encourage people to be honest and courageous with themselves. It isn’t difficult when there is a willingness.

      What I said about looking and focusing stands. It’s not a mantra or dogma–nothing said here is ever dogma or mantra. It is not different from what Adyashanti, Jed Mckenna or even Nisgardatta have said. I don’t want to go around looking for quotations, because this is pretty basic. Look, with honesty and courage. Yes, look. Look directly, with focus, and see that the false self does not exist. You do not exist. You have to look. You have to actually look.

      The quotations you’ve used are not at all inconsistent with what is said here. I’ve read “That I am” several times, and often use these quotations myself.

      You have strong opinions about Ciaran and that’s fine, but you really should take that up with him.

      k

      1. Jeff Lapointe

        Isn’t great that even in the pursuit of love we have viewpoints, intentions and accusations that we seemingly must continue to stand on? To explain. We are still not there, all this energy going into explaining is still feeding our ego (hell, even I feel a need to explain here:)).

        I think there are no consistent techniques to enlightenment. Somewhere deep within we have a personal longing to know something and that’s it. The rest is our search through form, through memory, through other people’s advice. Too often we are looking for someone else to give us the answer.

        I think everyone else’s opinion, technique and insights are simply encouragement to keep going in our own manner. To feel that there are others that are in pain and that in that pain somehow there is community and this sense of community let’s each of us continue to look into our perception of expanding awareness and dying ego.

        Any insistence on any point has stopped the flow of awareness. If you can feel it then you can also let it go.

        Happy Holidays to a wonderful painful community – thanks for sharing your struggles, insights, techniques, videos, words, patience and love.

        2011? Bring it on!
        Love and light
        Jeff

        1. Kaushik Post author

          Thanks, Jeff.

          The thing is, and the recent exchange here shows this, that we will do a great deal to avoid looking. We resist awakening. And you’re absolutely right. All the movements are feeding the ego. The only thing to do is to look.

          Maybe there aren’t consistent techniques but what I talk about here are the techniques which have worked, from direct experience.

          Absolutely true: any particular viewpoint is just that–a mental position. In this business, we do have to keep the bullshit alert on full power. That power comes from honesty and courage.

          Take care, Jeff, thanks for all your contributions.

          Enjoy the holidays!

  3. Janice R.

    This conversation reminds me that I still have not seen the movie “Fight Club”. I have heard that it is awesome.

    Happy Holidays to all.
    Love & Light,
    Janice

  4. Ciaran

    Holy Christ, dude, that’s fucking sick shit right there. Nice work mate, keep it coming.

    Oh, and just a tip – when you post up a chunk of pure honesty like this, and the liars like Ralph writhe to protect their little projects of ‘self improvement?’

    Basically, just imagine that you are this man:

  5. Kaushik Post author

    See that who you take yourself to be does not exist. And you’re on your way!

    Just look. Actually look.

    Here’s a gem from Ralph from a comment to another post:

    “…the truth is that who we take ourselves to be IS what stands in the way of seeing our true nature which is Awareness (Presence) itself, that is all one needs to see but we all have our own ways to come to this realization.
    I understand what you mean when you say that you cannot wrap your brain around this “I don’t exist” thing because until it is seen , it will mean nothing but when it is seen you will perhaps see that YOU do exist but not as an individual separate self but as Life itself…”

    That’s it! Let clarity do the work for you.

    My access to the internet is intermittent over the next few days.

    Happy holidays!

  6. HappinessandWisdom

    I think we fear honesty with ourselves, because once we begin to achieve it, our entire world begins to crumble around us. Things we believed to be TRUTH are realized to be illusion. Goals that once drove our lives are found to be meaningless. This is scary stuff! It is, however, worth it!!

    1. Kaushik Post author

      I’m so glad you said this. Many of us make the assumption that honesty and awakening are all peace and rainbows. It’s actually a process of developing stark honesty, which is stark and naked and vulnerable. It’s a process of destruction. It take courage to overcome the fear and courage develops easily when there is willingness.

      What brings about willingness?

      In me, it was suffering.

  7. Kaushik Post author

    Do you see why a jolt is good for us?

    It’s easy to fall back in the grooves of conditioned beliefs. That’s an easy and enticing ride.

    You have to be honest and courageous. And those will develop easily when you are willing. Just look.

    The site wants to evolve and I’m not sure of the direction just yet. So I’m letting it sit until I know.

    And I’ll gladly entertain suggestions.

    Happy holidays everyone!

    Just look.

  8. Janice R.

    Mr. K.,
    It takes a lot of courage to leave your baby (site) on a doorstep. To release control and allow something/someone to re-invent itself the way it needs to. I wish you and your site all the blessings and love in the universe. It feels like a really big step. Just like what you personally are going through.
    Love & Light,
    Janice
    P.S. Put me down for Honesty, too.
    P.S.S. If I had a better idea than what you have got going on here, I’d start my own site. Your site is great. We don’t all have to be on the same page everyday. However, respect for each other would go along way.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Janice,
      There is a lot of interaction on this site now. So perhaps the format of a forum might work better, where people can interact with each other, easier than they do in these comments.

      I’ll give that some thought. Thanks.

      k

  9. Jennifer

    Great post! It definitely takes honesty to realize we like holding onto our suffering because without it we are nothing and the ego fears that. I’m definitely going to go through life remembering that I personally don’t exist…I AM. Love & Light! Happy New Year and New Decade!

    1. Ciaran

      Interesting to see the stunning dishonesty in Jennifer’s post.

      Look at this sentence, it’s a headfuck:

      “It definitely takes honesty to realize we like holding onto our suffering because without it we are nothing and the ego fears that.”

      “It definitely takes honesty to realize…” This is how Jennifer starts. She then goes on to say:

      “we like holding onto our suffering because without it we are nothing and the ego fears that.”

      WHICH IS JUST SOME NEW AGE FUCKING DOGMA SHE’S PULLED OUT OF HER ASS.

      WE do NOT like HOLDING ON TO OUR SUFFERING.

      THERE IS NO WE.

      THAT”S WHAT THE WHOLE POST WAS ABOUT.

      You come here with this sub-par Ricki Lake level of insight, read a massive, brilliant piece on honesty and then TOTALLY IGNORE IT to be a SICKENINGLY DISHONEST PERSON.

      Kaushik, you have to call this out. There’s no dice in trying to get these people to slowly start realising that they’re cowards.

      When we are harsh, as you should know, it is because it is crucial to SHAKE people out of their complacency and blithe acceptance that they are already magically saved.

      They’re not, man. And this kind of talk – or the ACCEPTANCE of this kind of talk – is seriously toxic to those who have the courage for that one moment of actual honesty needed to see the obvious truth.

      Just saying.

      1. Masi

        ROFL @ “Kaushik, you have to call this out”!

        Good example of projection. Why would anyone want to listen to you? You just scare everyone into following you, and take on your verbal abuse. The only thing of true value you have is your sister’s letter. The rest is simple bullying.

    2. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Jennifer,

      You can also see that you do not exist.

      Or perhaps you already do. The actual recognition that you don’t exist is vastly different from remembering that you do not exist.

      For a long time, I had come to a quick mental agreement that the “me” was just an idea. I also made a subtle assumption that seeing through the false sense of “me” must be a rare and difficult thing to actually recognize. And, that’s not true at all.

      All we have to do is be willing, and to look directly.

      The holding-on/letting-go you mention, the release technique I talk about goes right to that, and shows that holding-on or letting-go is simply a decision. It doesn’t seem like a simple decision because we have concocted a false “you.” There is not you. There is just holding on or there is just letting go.

      Is it literally true that you do not exist?

      k

  10. Janice R.

    Wow, I had no idea you (Ciaran) could cram a turd sandwich through a fiber optic cable.
    It’s obvious that elementary English classes were challenging for you. Most adults can speak civilized English without using crude demeaning language.

    Don’t you get it Ciaran, even if you where the only person in the world that knew the “Truth” why would anyone want you for a teacher? or is it possible to help someone without kicking them in the teeth?

    Just saying.

  11. Ralph

    Janice, I think you just pissed Ciaran off. This is what he feeds on… you have seen nothing yet, just wait for his reply and be expecting a long ugly reply. 🙂

    As Kaushik said, there must be a willingness, … this grab them by the throat, insult them and belittle them approach is ridiculous and stupid.

    1. Jeff Lapointe

      Everything is valid. It’s another way to suggest that “not existing” also includes accepting Ciaran even if “I” don’t agree with his approach. In my “I” experience can’t say that I have read or met any “enlightened” people with this demeanor. It’s not clear which “I” he is trying to be to achieve enlightenment. Perhaps Zen verbal exercises until we are free:) Happy New Year to all.

      1. Kaushik Post author

        We find many, many ways to debate and divide and dismiss.

        Ciaran is not important.

        This technique is important.

        It works.

        Does it lead to enlightenment? Not in my experience, but then I don’t exactly know what enlightenment is. One of the biggest myths of awakening is that awakening is about changing, usually changing into a nice, compassionate, agreeable personality. That’s a myth.

        Nothing changes, except perspective. Embodied patterns and mind-stuff remains. Identity remains. Doubt remains.

        I recommend that people continue to release and look, even after seeing through the false sense of self.

  12. Kaushik Post author

    Sorry folks, but my access is still intermittent. I hope to get into full swing soon.

    I think perhaps a the format of a forum will work better now. I don’t edit/delete or interfere with back-and-forth comments, and it seems that’s where this whole thing is headed.

    There is no truth in beliefs or ideas. Awakening is in fact a destructive process of letting go of your ideas and beliefs. It’s not easy to let go cherished beliefs. It’s very easy to fall back into the conditioned grooves of the mind.

    I’ve experienced a number of things now which can help free people. Seeing that “you do not exist”, the release technique, and the observing thought techniques are primary among them.

    Even though the “you do not exist” and the release method are proven methods which help people see clearly, people will resist actually trying these out for themselves. We’re pretty good at avoiding looking directly.

    To get through, I have to learn to be very direct, and at the same time honor people exactly where they are.

    Directness is something I have to learn to do. It does not come easily in the culture I had been raised in.

    And so it will take a bit to figure exactly where this wants to go.

  13. Janice R.

    Mr. K.,
    Until you decide whether is is a forum based board or your regular format, I would like to ask you a question. You probably had answered this a million times, but, I have not understood or realized it yet. You have been writing and teaching the “You don’t exist” element for awhile now. I am reading each and every piece faithfully. Actually, this one several times. I think (first problem, I realize) that what I don’t understand is you keep saying “Just look and see that you don’t exisit” and I keep saying to myself, I thought any part of Awakening is realized from the neck down. Adya, Scott Kiloby, Mooji, etc. all say that awakening does not happen in any part of thought process. I can understand that “I don’t exist” to some tiny degree. I can understand that I am not my history, beliefs, opinions, etc. But, to have that actual shutter open so that I may truly see this fact has not happened. I hope this is not just sour grapes because I have not experienced “I don’t exist”. I don’t think that the realization of “I don’t exist” means that someone is now awakened to their true nature. But it does seem like a piece of it. Is that correct?
    I am very happy for your progress on your journey. I know that you have helped me tremendously. You have a lot to offer anyone on their journey.
    Love ya,
    Janice
    P.S. if Mr. K., is “out of the office”, I would love to hear from my friends, I miss you all.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Ah, you’ve finally asked about the technique itself. You see how it easy it is to get into debates? It’s one of the best ways we use to avoid looking directly.

      See that the you which is weaved in every one of your thoughts does not refer to anything.

      You understand this mentally and that’s good.

      You don’t have to be in an special meditative or awareness state to see this. Just look, normally.

      It doesn’t matter if there is resistance and confusion. It’s not your resistance. It’s just resistance.

      Look.

      Tell me what you see and I can guide you.

      Is it literally true that you do not exist?

  14. Philip

    Kauskhik,
    Happy new year, from hot and steamy Queensland Aus! I must admit I have never really asked you about your shift, do you experience life now without Kauskhik, or do you find he reclaims his space from time to time, so to speak?

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Nothing changes immediately.

      The “me” that was threaded through every one of my thoughts and emotions is now seen as vapor–it does not refer to anything.

      That’s all. Nothing else changes.

      This is what Jed Mckenna calls “First Step.” In my experience, seeing through the false self, makes all the other techniques much more effective. Releasing, awareness, and so on, are no longer tied to the false “me.”

  15. Esoman

    Hello my friend, Happy new year to you.

    Excellent post that really makes one think about what we are. I say “we” because in my deliberations about the human psyche, I have come to realise that each and every person has many “I’s”.

    Those “I’s” are so much easier to see in others rather than ourselves. If one thinks one must try to see which “I” is thinking, if one feels again it is necessary to find the “I” feeling. Beginning to observe the self is the first conscious shock, The second comes with durations of self remembering, very short at first, but lengthening with practice. Everything external should be questioned, everything internal should be observed, uncritically at first, there is no other way.

    Thinking along these lines, gives a whole new meaning to multiple personality disorder.

    Thanks for sharing your wise insights. They do help more than you think.

    Eso

    1. Kaushik Post author

      You’re right, it feels that there are many I’s. But none of these refer to anything real. That’s the recognition in the “you do not exist” technique.

      Thanks for your insight.

      1. Esoman

        Exactly!… None of these I’s are real. They were all formed from ones programming. That is why it is necessary to create something behind them, something different, something that watches (uncritically at first). Once one begins to see these I’s, a new journey or energy is established. Some call it the new body, some call it a new level of awareness. I like to call it the return journey.

        Whatever you call it, makes no difference. It is the feeling that is important. A feeling of being that gives the impression of separation. No longer are you quite the slave you once were, to all your moods, opinions and even thoughts.

        There is something that truly does exist, unfortunately it is deeply mired or buried under the false lord (personality) and his partner imaginary I.

        1. Kaushik Post author

          The “something that truly does exist” is just awareness. Some people will call it universal consciousness or something similar, but really, it’s not very useful to get that far ahead of direct experience.

          Here’s another obstacle that I forgot to put in the post. People who have some experience with meditation or awareness practices might have the subtle assumption that awakening is shifting the “you” from the ego to awareness. The “you” does not jump from the ego to awareness. You do not exist. It’s not your awareness. It’s just awareness.

          Thanks for your insight.

          1. Ralph

            “you” do not exist but the YOU that sees all and includes all IS very much alive ! It never went anywhere, it was always here, it is your natural state.
            Now, can you see that there are two of you, the question is which you is the real you ?

            .. there is only One of us…and you are that.

            1. Kaushik Post author

              Ralph, agree with everything you say, except it’s not your natural state. It’s just the natural state.

              I’ve noticed that people who have some experience with awakening and the words we use in these circles, have trouble with the syntax of “You do not exist.” Those people tend to say that this is incomplete. They would prefer this to read something similar to: You are not who you think you are, but you are your natural state (or awareness or universal consciousness).

              This is technically true.

              But there is a subtle assumption here which traps people. The assumption is that there is a you, and with some sort of practice the you will shift from the thinking mind to awareness.

              This assumption keeps people trapped, because they continue to look for “my” awareness.

              To say that there are two of you maybe technically correct in a certain context, but it is not helpful. People naturally make the assumption that they have to look for a false you and the real you. They look for “my” natural state.

              “You do not exist” is a technique. It’s not a teaching. It’s not very helpful to get caught up in the semantics. The natural state is undeniable, and this technique does not deny what is undeniable.

              I like the semantics of “You do not exist” because it’s the semantics that make this a very direct, compelling, and relentless inquiry.

              1. Ralph

                I see what you are getting at Kaushik but your technique may be taken by the seeker who is still on the search as ” I do not exist” period. This may be taken as very scary and leave the seeker with an empty and void feeling. There is no aliveness in it and can lead to more frustration and hopelessness for the one still seeking.

                . …. but as they say, there are many paths that lead to the same destination, so i’ll leave it at that, each person is unique .

                1. Kaushik Post author

                  After I read Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now, I felt elated and conscious. I had found the key! This lasted about six months. And then for over two years I felt down, lethargic, and nihilistic, often wishing I had never heard of awakening.

                  This feeling of nihilism, the feeling of frustrated seeking, comes from the conflict between knowledge and recognition. You know you are not who you think you are, but you do not recognize, and so there is frustrated seeking. You know life can live consciously and easily, but you don’t know exactly how to make it happen, and so there is a feeling of deep frustration.

                  I teach people how to release. The release method is simple and highly effective. But still, many people are initially afraid to try the release method because they fear that it will make them “emotion-less.” That cannot possibly happen, but that’s the fear they feel. I don’t know how to help people overcome this fear. Sometimes when they’ve suffered enough, they are willing.

                  I think this fear of nihilism comes from the same place. It’s the ego’s will to survive.

                  Thanks for your insights!

  16. Ciaran

    You’re doing great, man, it’s awesome to see you work, I knew you’d be good.

    I’m making some advances in how to bring this to others, you might wanna take a look. I’ve broken some new ground in understanding exactly how to bring it to people, so do check it out- I’d love to see your input.

    We’re trying to break it down to the core, forge a sword, so to speak. I’ve only had these new insights out for a couple of days – I can already see a striking difference in how well the RT guys are coming across, it’s very cool.

    Anyway, I leave you with a couple of links and a note to stay tuned, I want you to be aware of this new development as it progresses and we get deeper into it.

    Link 1 – Basically a braindump about advanced freedom transmission (I call it something else.. heh heh) :
    http://ruthlesstruthdotcom.blogspot.com/2011/01/advanced-lie-killing-some-brief.html

    Link 2 – This is a deeper examination of the engine that drives my whole method of doing this: http://ruthlesstruthdotcom.blogspot.com/2011/01/faith.html

    So yeah – I need your input on this, I think this is close to the core of what we need. If we can break the whole thing down to pure simplicity – if we can crack the rapid spreading of freedom itself, this could get big fast. If we don’t, it’s going to be a looooooooooooooooooooooooot of work to crack everyone one by one, so please help me get to the core of transmission.

    Anyway, love it, love it, love it. Speak soon, man, and if you have any insights that you think might help get us closer to forging the double-edged sword of legend, don’t be shy in contacting me.

  17. navee Juman

    This honesty sounds like a self-improvement thingy. Since no-self for improving, why waste time with methods?

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Honesty is honesty. It’s not complicated. It is tricky, and one of the ways we trick ourselves into delusion is to wonder what honesty is. It’s not a method, it’s not self-improvement, it’s not a mantra, it’s not a moral imperative, it’s not a philosophy. It’s basic–just the willingness to see what is. Just decide to be honest with yourself.

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