The truth that we are not what we take ourselves to be is glaringly and painfully obvious. The ego has no answer to this simple truth, but it does a have a typically effective solution: it just obliterates the question from our consciousness.
This is why most of us go through life without facing up to this question.
And this is why we suffer.
But at some point life gets painful or boring or absurd enough, and we open up and consider who we really are.
Awakening begins. Awakening for most of us is a journey. It is a journey of letting go of resistance.
What is your particular resistance right now? Are you angry? Are you pissed off because you’ve been practicing the law of attraction and the muscled metrosexual with the Ferrari still hasn’t shown up, the rude bastard? Or are you pissed off because the spiritual identity you have been building up for years is now beginning to crack? Are you feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, anxious, despondent? Is there inertia, low-energy, lassitude? Is life running in the same old cycles? Is it three steps forward, two back? Do you have doubts about this awakening thing you’re doing or not doing? Did you just realize you’ve been fooling yourself?
My resistance at first was intellectual. There are deep patterns of conditioning which can manifest as depression and anxiety and fear. There are addictions. After the initial awakening insight, there have been periods of peace and confidence and high-energy, and periods of great inertia and insomnia and doubts and frustration. Deeper and deeper patterns come to the surface, and are released.
These days I know that the least amount of suffering, the smallest feeling that something isn’t right, the barest nudge that my life is not working, is an indication of resistance in me.
That’s how it goes.
What can you do?
It isn’t what you do. It is what you stop doing.
You stop resisting. You stop resisting resistance. You learn to let go. You find that place within you which can allow. You love. You be patient. You watch, with dis-attachment. You allow.