Getting into the flow of Awakening

Early 2007ish.

A relationship is over. Pain.

A job is over.

Deep in depression. Overweight. Drinking.

Giving up. Acceptance.

A small shift.

Observing the mind, observing thought. Effort.

Clever and useless revelations.

The year of High energy, high activity.


Awakening is now far more important than security, approval, or control.

A settling.

Can’t find job.


Severe Anxiety.

Discovery of how to release.

Clinging to beliefs loosens.

Detachment-Apathy-Insomnia-Isolation. Is this depression again?

Addictions re-emerge.

Awareness-release combo is potent. Effort goes away.

Addictions recede.

Writing happens.

Awakening is seeing beyond the the contracted ring of fear. Awareness is letting go of thoughts and beliefs. Release is letting go of stuck patterns.

A natural flow. A quiet, gentle, unoccupied, innocent, fresh Awareness.

A re-engagement to living, people, what is.

Natural, light and easy joy, compassion, charisma.

People notice. What’s different? How do I do this?

The message: it’s not about beliefs or yet another secret. Be conscious. Release your stuck patterns. And see for yourself.

Now? Just living. Conscious and releasing. Stuff happens, stuff doesn’t happen. Lightness, flow, compassion. It’s all beautiful.

What is your experience?

35 thoughts on “Getting into the flow of Awakening

  1. Nadia - Happy Lotus

    Hi Kaushik,

    I like how you did this post. Very cool. I think everyone who experiences awakening does so as a result of a painful event. I have yet to hear a story about someone who attains awakening while in bliss. I think it is part of the equation. It is as if you have to be down on your knees, looking for another way, when the answer comes.

    My experience began due to pain too. The circumstances were somewhat different than the ones you wrote but I had to hit rock bottom in order to rise out of the ashes or the illusion of the ashes. I am so grateful for it, for it changed my life for the better.
    .-= Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..My November Dose of Tough Love =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Nadia,
      We’re cross-commenting!

      Ah, yes, misery. The funny thing is many of us feel our misery is unique. In misery, it’s hard for us to see that almost everyone we know is uneasy. We’re uneasy because the deep identification to thought, which creates a confusing and claustrophobic veil of fear. Misery is the nudge which helps us see this.

      And when we have this insight, we are, as you say, grateful for misery. It could not have been any other way.

      Thanks for your wisdom, as always! Hope you are well,


  2. Brenda

    What, are you trying to be a poet now too, Kaushik!? 🙂

    I like how you did this three-year review. It shows that you are able to challenge yourself to try something different, both in form and content. The links remind us how much you’ve written on these subjects. The post brings to mind the ebb and flow of ocean tides. Forest dweller that I am, my metaphor is a fresh-water lake that rises and falls with the seasons.

    I find your writing immanently quotable. My Awakening post captures a comment you made to one of your readers about loving life. You should feel proud that your words mean something to others. As for poetry, I’ve heard it said that a great poem is harder to write than a good novel. Poetry more than fiction needs an inspired voice. I think I’ll go read some Rumi now.

    Thanks for always reminding us that life is beautiful, simple and easy if we let it be.
    .-= Brenda´s last blog ..Awakening =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Brenda,
      ebb and flow of ocean tides, Forest dweller, fresh-water lake, rises and falls–I think you’re the poet!

      I’ve written a quite a bit as you say and the last few posts were personal and heavy and I thought perhaps a short, pointed post might do.

      I so very honored that you have quoted me. Thank you!

      I hope you are well, my friend.


  3. Ideas With A Kick

    This reminds me of a list of things that happened to Lincoln, before he became an US president. It started with loosing job, going bankrupt, loosing elections a couple of times, but in the end… This doesn’t mind in my perspective that if you fail a lot of times, automatically you will also win at one point. Some people just keep on failing all their life. But if you learn something from your mistakes…


    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Eduard,

      That’s a wonderful point. It is about the experience in the Now, without the mental concepts of success or failure or outcome.


  4. Andrew

    Hi Kaushik,

    Nice post. I yearn to be able to just ride the waves of life and accept my own inner states, but your posts are inspirational nonetheless.

    In your post you mention that your clinging to beliefs loosened. What beliefs were you referring to? Beliefs about the self, about the world? How did your relationship to your beliefs change? Is it possible to hold beliefs and at the same time be awakened?



    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Andrew,

      You’ve asked an excellent question.

      Attachment to thought creates an opaque curtain of concepts and beliefs and judgments. Thoughts and emotions and beliefs are all we can see and this is limiting and smothering. We feel claustrophobic and contracted. This opaque wall of labels and judgments gives us the delusion that we are separate from everything else, and gives us a sense of dread and sorrow and incompleteness. And in this confusion, there is no purpose, no clarity, no intuition, no flow. In this confusion, it is difficult to know the truth about any belief because everything is reduced to a concept. God, being, existence, happiness–in the mind we try to grasp these by reducing them to beliefs.

      Seng-ts’an writes: “Do not seek the truth; only cease to cherish opinions.” By opinions, he means beliefs and concepts and ideas. This is of course the opposite of all we have been taught. How can we find truth and happiness and success if we don’t seek it. And how can we not cling to beliefs. After all, beliefs are all we know–belief in God, in spirituality, in the sense of self?

      The reason the Zen poet writes these beautiful lines is tell us that God, being, existence, and happiness are not objects to be grasped and reduced into beliefs. To see this we have to loosen our attachment to thinking and beliefs.

      Which of course sound like a very strange thing, because the question comes up, am I not my thoughts? How can I “loosen my attachment” to my own thoughts?

      Observe thoughts, as an impartial witness, and you will find that you are not your thoughts.


  5. Andrew

    Hmm, sorry for being a pest but I’m just trying to get this straight!
    I can understand how some beliefs may not be helpful, and may be counterproductive to achieving awakening – but does this apply to all beliefs? Is it really possible not to hold any beliefs?

    What about political or social beliefs? Or are you simply saying that we can hold beliefs, but that they don’t define us, or that we just shouldn’t identify with them?

    And is it not true that some people’s beliefs about how the world *should* be has led to much positive change? Take, for example Martin Luther King Jr.


    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Andrew,

      This isn’t about the truth or falsity of any particular belief. We could go round and round on that. This is seeing beyond the structure of beliefs.

      The dualistic mind thinks in opposites. It’s one or the other. So we say, with beliefs, I can define myself. Then, it must follow that without beliefs, I am nobody.

      It isn’t that the truth or falsity of any particular belief is an obstacle. The obstacle is our tendency to find completion in beliefs. We can never find completion in beliefs because beliefs happen in the mind, and the mind is limiting. (By mind, I mean thoughts and ideas and concepts and emotions and conditioning).

      A belief in God is an obstacle to knowing God. A belief in an external God keeps us forever looking outward for Truth. It’s not out there.

      Many people who come to awakening will adapt beliefs in Oneness and bliss and spirituality and reincarnation and karma and so on. All of these are obstacles to seeing Truth.

      But to say that all beliefs are wrong is also just another dualistic belief.

      What I’m saying is to see beyond the entire structure of beliefs. Beliefs can only happen in the mind. Beliefs are dualistic. Beliefs are memorized thoughts. See beyond.

      You’ve added considerably to this discussion. Thanks!


  6. Wilma Ham

    Hi All,

    Beliefs are hard to change as they are our guides to living and they feel secure and safe and familiar.

    Kids are learning this, imagine being a two year old and being whisked from one person to another, from one place to another. What would you think?
    They are still not really stuck in beliefs so when they are told how they should behave, how they should feel they ask rightly so ‘WHY?”. Can we often answer that why, intelligently and honestly? Often not so we get annoyed with those whys.

    To get unstuck and to live life from honesty and authenticity, start experiencing life as a two year old with why?
    That will get you every time. The trick is NOT to try to answer the why this time, just use the why to observe if there is not another way and if you FEEL there is, live like that.

    The way we think and act is bound to make us fearful, Kaushik you portrayed that beautifully in this post. Our belief patterns are making us this way. Just observe and then look at life through innocent perception as two year olds and find an honest for you useful new persepctive to live from.
    And believe you can do it yourself, we do not need to follow others like lemmons over the cliff and that is what we do at the moment.

    Kaushik you say, “Be conscious. Release your stuck patterns. AND SEE FOR YOURSELF” . That is what we need to practice.
    Love Wilma,
    .-= Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Questions, the doors to our hearts. =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Wilma,

      As usual, you’ve said it well and succinctly!

      The point of living is to live consciously, rather than in reaction to the conditioned mind. In this fresh, innocent present-moment awareness we are no longer enslaved by the mind or thoughts or beliefs or concepts or stuck patterns. When we don’t identify with mind-stuff, we no longer feel fear. This is lightness and compassion and joy. It is easy being. We can be as fresh and innocent as a two year old.

      Thanks for your wisdom!


    1. Kaushik Post author

      Ok, Andrew. It isn’t a stand against any particular belief. It is that awareness is prior to time and thought and beliefs. It is gentle, innocent, fresh, and unemcumbered. We are our own guides; no prescription of belief or morality is needed.

      Thanks Andrew.


  7. Lisa (mommymystic)

    Kaushik, just getting caught up here. I love this post because of the cyclical quality of your journey at times. I kept thinking of the Buddha’s journey, of how Buddhism is portrayed as ‘the middle way’ because he first tried too hard, and then not enough, and had to find the balance where ego was not ruling the way…each time we cycle through difficulties we find a new level of release, the journey is infinite…
    .-= Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..Interview with Paul Martin, author of Original Faith, on the Spiritual Journey =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Lisa,

      The journey is indeed infinite. “…each time we cycle through the difficulties we find a new level of release…” I like that. It’s all about letting go, releasing. Thanks!


  8. Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

    What a fantastic way to frame this up. And my gosh, I could see myself in your words (not surprising; we seem to share certain affinities). I find myself in the last third of your post — getting over another hump, and growing into the space of easy acceptance. Stuff happens, stuff doesn’t happen. It all just “is,” and that’s good by me.

    WOW! (Sorry, just really enjoyed the format you presented this in.)
    .-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..The Ultimate Unknown =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Megan,

      Yes, not surprising this is a mirror. It’s funny, in misery, we always believe our misery is somehow unique. “…space of easy acceptance…” I love that!

      Thanks, I hope you’re really well!


  9. Liara Covert

    Permitting the words to flow is an invitation to permit energy to flow through you in other ways. You are a conduit, a filter and a timeless being. Thanks for sharing your process of reflection. This encourages others to continue along a path of evolution and remembering.
    .-= Liara Covert´s last blog ..12 Instant revelations =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Liara,

      That’s a great point, that writing, and the style, reflects the flow of energy. I encourage people to write a journal. It is cathartic and over time it shows the ebb and flow. The writing here has gone from very serious, playful, very personal, now less-is-more. Thanks for bringing that up. Writing helps awakening.


  10. Miche - Serenity Hacker

    Wow, this is almost a poem! It was really touching, moving, and flowed in the way life does flow, dipping in and out of attachment and awareness. I really enjoyed your writing here. I’m glad I discovered this today and have to check around more… it looks like you have some really insightful stuff here, the kind I often too like to write about and explore.

    Miche 🙂
    .-= Miche – Serenity Hacker´s last blog ..Accepting Suffering and A Call for Compassion =-.

  11. Dan

    In a nutshell! I can see myself at a particular point in this time line: your poem. It’s heartwarming to know that I am on a path similar to yours, and there may be a happy ending!

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Dan. Always happy ending. It’s always seen that everything that happens happens perfectly. Good to see you here!


  12. Chris Edgar

    Yes, that’s my experience as well — that adopting new beliefs or ideas does little to change the way I perceive the world — I have to notice and move through the emotions that are lurking in the background, and I don’t always understand why they’re there.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Chris,

      Yes, great point. Adapting new belief systems and “positive thinking” are really just more of the same. True transformation comes with being here, being attention. In the quiet stillness, we see the true nature of emtoions, and as you say, we find the lurkers.



  13. Peggy

    I loved your poem.

    My release happened while signing my DNR and living will in front of a notary. I had been diagnosed with breast cancer and was facing surgery, chemo, radiation – the whole nine yards. But it was when, in the moment of realizing I could die from this, that I felt the most amazing calm and sense of ultimate bliss I’ve ever experienced.

    From that day forward, I chose to be more now, less past, less future, love what is and pretty much end the drama focused egoic life.

    .-= Peggy´s last blog ..Focus =-.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Hi Peggy,
      That’s wonderful! Well, it’s not wonderful that you had to face cancer but the release must have been so freeing! I’ve heard of this–when people have to face death in a real way, the ego is seen through.

      Thank you for sharing so openly.


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