Fear-Bodies

Last week I felt fear, in reaction to a life event.

Anxiety, or any other negative emotion, does not have the same gripping power as it used to, but nevertheless I found it curious that fear should come up at all.

I notice it first as body sensations, usually a butterfly feeling in the belly. This is the trick to releasing. Once you can see that emotions are just an association between thought and body-sensations, it’s pretty easy to release.

A feeling is an intuitive message in the body; feelings serve a purpose and when we are present, feelings come and go quickly. An emotion is different.

A thought happens and if it has enough energy it will be reflected in the body as some sort of sensation. The thoughts and body-sensations energize one another in a feed-back loop, and this is what we experience as emotions.

When you look and see this structure, you can easily notice the beginnings of an emotion, and you notice that they are just thoughts and body sensations, and you fully allow without any resistance, and it’s pretty easy to let them go.

I didn’t let go right away. I was curious. I can release easily, and I’ve seen through the delusion of “me”, so why would there be any fear at all?

What’s going on here?

I think one of two, or both things are happening.

Conditioned structures remain. Even after seeing through a basic delusion, there is momentum and memory of fear-bodies, and so these will still come up. They are unmoored, yes, unhinged, and they no longer grip in the same scary way that they did before, and they belong to the delusional “me” which never existed, but nevertheless they come up.

The delusion of “you” is pretty basic. It seems to hold together all of our other delusions, and seeing through the false “me” is big, but it doesn’t clean up already-embodied patterns. Perhaps it takes time and releasing to clean up.

The other thing is that there is possibly a more basic mechanism at work in us. Maybe this basic thing is surrender, and many of the fully awakened talk about this, but I haven’t explored it fully yet.

Here’s the deal with humanity. We’re insane. We’ve lost our way. You’d have to be very deluded to believe that the state of humanity is anywhere close to natural. In extreme cases it shows up as genocide and the horror we see on the news and in history. In everyday life it shows up as the resigned, confused sort of uneasiness with being. Human beings don’t know how to just be. In ten thousand years of civilization, we haven’t figured out how to just be.

It seems that we have millions of problems. Everyone I’ve known and know believes that his or her unhappiness is unique. It is because of lack. Half the world lacks adequate food and water, but beyond that, the other half which does not have to worry about basic needs, believe they lack money or a relationship or certainty or a full life or peace-of-mind or better looks or whatever it is. It’s a strange thing that everyone seems to believe that he or she is unhappy in some unique way, while the rest of world is generally happy.

Well, here’s the good news. We don’t have millions of different problems.

We have one.

And the answer is always to look. Allow and look, look inside, with patience and honesty.

As Jed Mckenna says: Further. Keep looking.

And be honest. That’s critical.

These are some simple ways of looking:

1. Observe thought. As a witness, as a watcher, without trying to change or stop thoughts, just observe.

2. Observe emotions. Emotions are an association between an energetic thought and body-sensations. Step back and allow and observe emotion. Make space for them in the body. When you observe them in this way, you can let them go.

3. Observe fear-bodies. Whenever fear or any sort of negativity or resistance comes up, observe. See how fast they come up and seem to take over. With practice you see these reactions are just fast-habit-reactions of embodied patterns.

4. Observe the idea of you. See that the you which you think you are does not refer to anything.

Now you might notice that this is pretty simple and straightforward. And yet it is the nature of the mind to get caught up in questions and answers about knowledge and spirituality and seeking and so on. The mind does not want to look.

If you look there most likely will be some frustration and confusion. Probably a lot of it. This is good. Wisdom comes when we can allow the frustration and confusion and recognize they are a natural part of the process.

10 thoughts on “Fear-Bodies

  1. Jeffrey Lapointe

    “Here’s the deal with humanity. We’re insane. We’ve lost our way. You’d have to be very deluded to believe that the state of humanity is anywhere close to natural.”

    Well, I must be deluded. Expanding consciousness and awareness is in perfect sync. Either we look or create space for ourselves or we find ourselves in pain which causes us to surrender, let go and create space. In that space is our room for growth, our room for stretching to the next limit of our awareness. Humanity is exercising its right to find truth through pain right now – a conscious choice not to choose(How many times do you choose a second helping of dinner when you are full?) As a consequence of pain, more and more people are starting to embrace their choice, not to negate pain, but to see through it, past it into the next compartmentalized state of awareness.

    The process is simple, elegant and above all as natural as our reality itself.

    Point 2) Often we think of humanity in human terms. This is similiar to a liver cell thinking the liver is all of humanity. There is a larger humanity in form and function beyond us which we are an active part of – which we are evolving with.

    An enlightened awareness or dissolution of the “I” is a part that acts in synergy with a greater (A liver cell doesn’t question what it does..as far as I know:). We have a choice in our short lifetime(as a perceived human) to BE human, to share an egoless knowing with others which will spread and create a collective BEING that will be a part of a larger humanity (like the liver cells, that acts as a liver, that contributes to the human body).

    What collective part do humans play in our universal humanity?

    1. Kaushik Post author

      “natural” was not the right word–it’s true that the unawakened state is as natural as the awakened.

      Yes, it does seem that more and more people are awakening.

      The hope for humanity rests in individual awakening. As more and more individual realize, that they can choose to awaken, and as you say so well, choose “create space” and surrender to truth through pain.

  2. Another Way

    Thanks for writing the truth. When I first read Jed McKenna, I thought he was a bit extreme. But as I’ve moved through my journey I realize he’s right on in the degree to which we need to be aware/willing/sincere/ruthless. I’ve been reminded recently about how caught up I am in the story of being spiritual and not in the actual awakening. It was quite disconcerting to realize this. We cannot be too honest with ourselves. We also cannot be too compassionate with ourselves. It’s a fine balance. Transcendence is a nice place if you can get there, but too often we want to avoid the muck of being human and I am reminded daily that that’s not possible. You can only get to awakening through processing the suffering. So let’s be honest, but kind to ourselves and our reflections.

    1. Kaushik Post author

      Thanks for this very open comment. My experience with JMK is the same. When I first read him, I thought he was speaking the truth, but also that he was perhaps so ruthless that he might be alienating.

      I realized though that what it takes is a very stark and ruthless honesty. Otherwise we just run around in circles, chasing our spiritual tails.

  3. Philip

    There is no way to become or get to awakening because its already there. When the idea that ‘this is not it’ falls away, then ‘this’ is seen. The very thinking that we can do anything about it, that we need to be anything, is that which obscures ‘this’.
    The teaching that you can do something about being enlighten is the imprisonment.The best way to avoid the oneness of liberation is to seek it. What you are looking for never left you.
    What the seeker is looking for was never lost it never left them way back as a child when the separation first was believed. Also what they are looking for cannot be named, can’t be gotten can’t be teached. But the seekers energy is always forwards towards something, always moving, looking for something. It is impossible for the seeker to see wholeness. There is no such thing as becoming enlightened.You cannot attain something that is already there.

    What arises is the readiness to hear that liberation is attainable by no one. Liberation is about loss, the death of the individual. Suddenly there is no separation, no me.

  4. Ralph

    Yes Philip but for most, spoken words alone will not get you there (which is here of course). This is why for most seekers, ‘seeking’ and ‘effort’ is required to SEE that seeking and effort are themselves the obstacles that stand in the way of true seeing.

    … so in other words, you end up where you started . 🙂

  5. Another Way

    Phillip, not necessarily disagreeing with you. You have to be sincere and aware and ruthless about stripping away all that is unnecessary, all that is illusion, all the egoistic identity that is not essence. And then there is no one. But most of us have to go on some kind of path to find that out. I’d love to wake up tomorrow and be awakened. I’m not there yet.

    1. Philip

      Illusion is it as much as awareness is. The illusion of separation apparently rises in being as being thinking it is a separate person, the illusion is oneness. In oneness everything is included, it’s not this oneness but not including this bit. There is nothing to be done, the mind loves doing and will always come in and try and make sense of it all, but there is no sense of it all.It’s just this, whats happening, once you stop looking for something else like sincerity or the need of stripping something away it can be seen. ‘You’ can’t see it but it is seen and it is incredibly ordinary and you will kick yourself how simple it is. Liberation is the collapse of the story. No one is left.

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