“We can understand only that which we have risen above.” –Vernon Howard
Ah, here it is.
Life has sweetness to it–an easy flow.
After four years of seeking, and turmoil and confusion, here is the easy peace that was always here.
The effort has fallen away.
Go ahead and dive into self-discovery. Yes, it does take courage and honesty. And yes, there is a shaking up, some turmoil. You may feel you’re worse off than before for while. Maybe for a long while. Facing your self is not easy.
You don’t really have a choice anyway. Awakening chooses you.
Now, I’ve circled back to the technique which Ramana Maharshi and Nisgardatta suggest. Simply abiding in the sense of “I am”, resting in amness, awareness of awareness.
This is very simple, though the simplicity is difficult to understand, because the mind is used to doing and getting.
I’ll write more about it as experience deepens.
- Most people feel uneasy. Everyone wants to be happy. Happiness (the peace that surpasseth understanding, and all that) is in our true essential nature. But we don’t see this, because we have to come to believe we are the fictitious self we conjure up in the mind. Awakening is letting go of this delusional identification.
- Internal observance and internal honesty are essential.
- Observing thoughts, without judging or controlling or interpreting, is a great way to start.
- Releasing is a very effective way to let go of harsh emotions such as anxiety, worry, and so on.
- Internal honesty is not easy but it does develop with intention.
- It isn’t easy to face ourselves. When you dive into this self-discovery you may be surprised, disappointed, and shocked at first, because what you expected was peace, and what you get at first is turmoil.
- “Do not seek truth; instead cease to cherish opinion.”
- Whatever offends or angers me about someone else, is usually something I’m afraid of inside me.
- Anxiety can be released.
- Depression is self-hatred. It is emotions of anger and judgment turned inward. The psychological aspects of depression can be released.
- The fictitious self is motivated by fear.
- Be wary of attachment to “spirituality”. Spirituality is about getting and becoming; Awakening is about letting go and being. Be wary of the “spritualized” ego. It’s a tough nut to crack.
- You cannot cover up your fear and unease and suffering by “positive thinking” or spiritual beliefs, though people try very hard to do just that. It’s more effective to accept, allow, love, and release what you fear in yourself.
- Acceptance is not something you do–it’s something you stop doing. You stop resisting.
- Compassion and gratitude are pretty good heart practices–but not pre-requisites to awakening. They develop naturally as by-products.
- There is great confusion about whether to “seek” or not seek. Seeking is the lurching from what is perceived to be “wrong” to what is projected to be “right”. Seeking is essential–this is the human drama, which Jed Mckenna says is the “right up there with the illusion of separateness and certainty of free will.” The projected goal of seeking is an illusion, and yet, there isn’t anything wrong with seeking, in fact, it’s critical. At some point you see the truth of the dynamic of seeking, and then the effort behind it falls away.